“The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing.”

–     Socrates, Greek philosopher (469 – 399 BC)

Known primarily for his influence on the study of ethics, Socrates position here is the set-up for a five-part series on “knowing.”

Today — knowing how.

While I’m not sure that Socrates is universally correct, he’s pretty close when it comes to the idea of knowing how.  And part of the reason we struggle so much with knowing how is that there is almost always a sushi menu worth of ways forward.

Sometimes we can bulldog the matter at hand — and sometimes that is precisely how we should engage.  Sometimes we can finesse our way forward — and sometimes that is precisely how we should engage.  Sometimes we can act with others, sometimes we need to act alone.  This paragraph could go on for days, but figuring that the point is made, I’ll move on…

When we stop insisting that there is only one way to do a thing — we open up all sorts of possibilities on how to get it done.

So, rather than first focusing on “how,” what if we turned our attention to why, when, what and who?  

And that is precisely what this week’s Daily Difference will do.  I hope you’ll join in the conversation.

“Better before cheaper.  Revenue before cost.  There are no other rules.”

–     Central themes from a recent Harvard Business Review article by Michael Raynor & Mumtaz Ahmed

After two weeks on the road, talking with some of America’s truly great community bankers, I was drawn to how these simple rules apply to all business.  The bankers, the people they lend money to, the people they accept deposits from — all of us can benefit from this simple formula.

If we want to build a great company, business, department, team or function — well, this is a pretty good “true north setting.”

With apologies for connectivity issues that have made the Difference less Daily this week, I believe this is a good place to get back on track!

“Many leaves, one tree.”

–     Motto of the Leaf Men in the new animated film “Epic”

“Shake and bake!”

–     Ricky Bobby and Cal Naughton, Jr. when it was time to, well, shake and bake

Teamwork.  What the Wonder Pets captured musically, we hope to get right practically.

We took The Three to see “Epic” Sunday night — and it did not disappoint.  The animation, the story, the characters and the voices were all exceptionally well done.  So was the lesson.

And, just as Ricky and Cal found out in Talladega Nights, it’s better when you’re in it with someone else, ideally someone else you care about — someone that you’d rather see win than even yourself.

I am in the middle of a long run of business travel, which is hard on the family, the diet, the time management challenge and the ol’ work-life balance equation.  That said, just as I did last week, this week, I’ll embark with some other leaves on an important tree, in hopes that we’ll shake and bake our way to making a difference.

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”

–               William James

“Tension is who you think you should be.  Relaxation is who you are.”

–               Chinese Proverb

I swear, the REELAX thing was inadvertent (see The Heston Group’s REELAX Guide to Leadership.

That said, putting ourselves in position to act, using our Judgment, based on asking “Why?” “What if?” and “How?” is a great tension reliever.  And, it is our choice.  What’s really cool, is that choosing one thought over another puts us closer to who we are, and further feeds making better decisions based on more confidence in why we’re deciding…

As Fred and the band sing, “Be Whoever You Are!”  I believe it will make a difference.

“The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.”

    –    Albert Einstein

“Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement.”

    –    Alfred Adler

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”

    –    Annie Dillard

Introspection (identification), Reflection (understanding), Evaluation (measurement).  An old friend who was chairman of a bank in Austin, TX would call that “fixin’ to commence to get ready.”  Ready for what?  Action!  (All quoted persons today are “A” names, in keeping with the “A-word!”)

General George Patton believed that a good plan enacted today was exponentially better than a great plan acted upon three days from now.  (I keep a tribute to him in my office as a reminder to operate in precisely the same manner.)  Another old friend, Ken Clifford, told me one day, “Plan twice per year, act every day.”  That was one of those crystallizing moments in my life.

The first action to take on the heels of our fixin’ to commence to get ready is to write down our goals and the steps to those goals.  It’s pretty easy to stay on course at that point, since we’ll have a map to follow.  Make sure the steps aren’t too big.  Plan your stops with the size of your gas tank in mind, in other words.  It’s one thing to drive from Austin to Seattle, another thing completely to set out to do it in one day on one tank of gas.  Better to get from Austin to Wichita, Wichita to Denver, Denver to…

Little danger comes from acting, especially if we’ve laid out a decent  plan.  The danger does, indeed, lie in doing nothing or accepting lack of action in those around you.  And, while confidence in our plan is important, we can trust only our actions, and we should expect that others will operate the same way.  Finally, how we spend today, and tomorrow, is how we’ll spend our life…tie it all together, and we’ll make a difference.

“Thought is action in rehearsal.”

–    Sigmund Freud (1856-1939)

“Never confuse motion with action.”

–    Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

Ben’s words confirm Siggie’s.  Blind action, while better than analysis paralysis, tends to look more like motion.

What do your thoughts prepare you for?  We’ve mentioned rehearsal often in the DD.  Still, how many of us view our thoughts as rehearsal to action?  Pretty compelling, isn’t it?

I’m a big fan of short-burst “thought parties.” A stream-of-consciousness, stand-up conversation spent thinking about things like; “what if the client’s (or competitor’s) stance is “x” or “what if they lead with “y?”  Sometimes as little as :10, sometimes more concentrated.  Coming off those conversations, we should feel energized — ready to act on whatever course presents itself as the best way forward.  By the same token, we can also get comfortable with the fact that being quiet can be an action.  Waiting can be an action.  In negotiations, sometimes the action has no motion at all…

The key is to be intentional.  In acting.  In waiting to act.  The key is to know why we’re doing whatever we’re doing, or not doing.  To make sure we’re not going through the motions, or just “in motion,” but rather that we’re thinking actively, rehearsing actively and taking a course of action that honors the acts that precede it.

Rehearse.  Think.  Act.  Make a difference.

“One of the sanest, surest and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.”

–     Robert Heinlein, American Science Fiction Writer (1907-1988)

Another is realizing how good our fortunes are when others are so clearly devastated.

What happened throughout Monday afternoon in Oklahoma is, thankfully for most of us, unimaginable.  Thankfully.  As unimaginable for us as it is horrific for those affected.  Never again, we pray, on their behalf.

Yet, for the people in Moore, OK, it’s only been 14 years since the rest of the world was counting its blessings while this town was licking its wounds from a similar storm on a nearly identical path.  Unimaginable.  Thankfully.  Our good fortune may never be clearer than when someone else’s tragedy casts our reality in the brightest possible light of perspective.

It’s trite, at times like these, to say, “We should all hug our kids,” or to feel more compelled than usual to tell loved ones that we love them.  It’s less trite if we somehow can remember it every day.

In the meantime, difference makers might feel helpless, separated by miles and circumstances from taking direct action “on the scene.”  Still, all of us can make a difference by supporting those on the ground.  And by praying that the numbers of fatalities and injuries don’t rise, and that those hurt and suffering know Peace in their time of trial.

“You won’t be considered a failure until you begin to blame.”

–    John Wooden, legendary coach

There are many versions of this quote out there, all attributed to the Wizard of Westwood, John Wooden.

Failure is a polarizing word, to be sure.  So, then, should “blame” be.

Blame sounds a lot like “excuse” to me.  I no likey excuses, and I suspect you no likey them either!  I seek a world in which we’re willing to fail more frequently, because we’re trying to find more ways to grow.  I dream of and try to build a reality wherein we make mistakes of aggression, because in doing so, we raise the bar.  We grow.  We’ll get stronger all the way through, as long as we avoid the temptation to point fingers, to assign blame.

In her book, Mindset, Dr. Carol Dweck talks about how the “fixed” mindset makes us afraid of failing, and leads to us blindly assigning blame, while the “growth” mindset commits us to seeking to learn and grow, to get stronger by constantly raising the bar on ourselves.

Think about that; if we raise the bar on ourselves, no one needs to raise it for us!  The really encouraging point that Dr. Dweck believes and proves is that the growth mindset can be taught and, as such, can be learned. 

John Wooden was a teacher, and he had a growth mindset.  Even after his passing, books on his teachings still sell briskly.  His growth mindset lives on, and accordingly, people still go to him for advice — on how best to grow.

Which mindset do you want to have?  What can you do, and what will you do to learn to have a growth mindset?

How much of a difference will that make?

“We’re not trying to embarrass the best players in the world.  We’re trying to identify them.”

–        David Fay, former Executive Director, United States Golf Association

OK, OK, with apologies, a golfing metaphor to illustrate a point…

PGA Professionals can be prima donnas.  Most really talented people can be.  Early in my career it was a trap that I fell in to way too readily.  When something good happened, as a younger man, I just assumed it must be me that made it happen.  It was easy, with that mindset, to see the path of least resistance, so that I could artificially feel good about the outcome — whether or not I played much of a role in creating it.

In the case of the golf example, the US Open Championship tends to be the most difficult test of the best players in the world, year in and year out.  The USGA grows the grass in the rough up to some 5 inches or more.  They make the fairways narrower than at any other tournament.  The putting greens tend to be a lot like marble countertops in our kitchens…hard and fast.  They try to create the hardest test of golf they can, within the bounds of the game.  Every now and then, some of the best golfers in the world complain that the USGA is trying to embarrass them, even though every single player plays the same course in a balanced competition to identify who the best of the best really are.  Only the best — and toughest of mind — have a chance to win on the biggest stage, when, in their context, the outcome really matters.

Sort of like a sales professional in a really tough or dynamic market.  Or a relationship professional in a really competitive market.  Or a server in an over-saturated restaurant town.  Or a pediatric dentist is a rapidly growing community.  Or a kid who cuts lawns on a block with ten other pre-teens saving for their first car.  Or a parent whose kids is struggling with decision making, prioritization, etc.

See where I’m going?  The bigger the stakes, the harder the test.  The harder the test, the better it feels when we get it right.  The bigger the stakes and the harder the test, the better it feels when we get it right.  When we beat that test of our skills, our experiences, our belief and our abilities.

And, just as only the best players in the world qualify to play in the US Open, as leaders, our goal ought to be to have the best team in the world.  Not to embarrass them, rather to identify, hire and then challenge them so that they can / will do their best work on the biggest stage.

If your boss is tough on you, or if  your job is tough, or if a particular relationship goes through a tough patch, remember, if it was easy, it wouldn’t take a difference maker.  Anyone could do it, and, by definition, it wouldn’t be as rewarding or gratifying when we get it completely right.

“Science and technology revolutionize our lives, but memory, tradition and myth frame our response.”

–     Arthur Schlesinger (1917-2007), American historian and social critic

Science and technology rule my days, but Saturday night, I’ll take part in a tradition that frames, but also softens my response.

My sister is a dance teacher.  I mean, she’s a dance teacher who has touched the lives of over a thousand young girls and boys over 39 years of teaching dance.  (In a town of about 9,500 folks…)  For 35 (or is it 36?) of those years, I’ve been the Master of Ceremonies for her annual recital.  It’s tradition.  It means a lot to me.  I think it means something to her.

Science and technology revolutionize my  career, heck they make it possible, but tradition still feels really right to me.

It’s a longer commute this year.  It’s tough to leave a family still settling in to our new surroundings for the weekend, but it’s tradition.

And, along with our extended family and about 500 or so parents, aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandpas and friends of a little over 100 kids, I’ll see an almost four-decade veteran of difference making.

The kids that prance, dance, preen (or just freeze) on that stage will be better for it.  In a job interview.  In a crucial conversation.  When the game is on the line and the free throw they’re about to shoot will decide it.  They will have been prepared for that moment.  By my sister.

My sister gets them ready and gets them on stage.  She makes a difference.

I relish in the tradition, and I admire her gift and ability to do it, year after year after year after year.