Why You Matters More Than We, And They Matter More Than You

A conversation at Heston House recently…

The Tallest of The Three, facing 100 or so thank-you notes for graduation gifts:  “Dad, can I just text people “Thank you?”  

Me, in reply:  “No, you can’t.  You need to handwrite thank you notes.  One, it’s the right thing to do, and two, if you text people your thank you’s, your grandma will come back from the grave and haunt both of us for the rest of our lives!”

It’s true.  Pat Heston would write a thank you note for a thank you note.  And her son, all these years later, still believes it makes a difference.

In 1997, I wrote a thank you note to a Chicago banker.  In 2004, he asked me to come back to the bank to talk about some new technology.  The seven-year-old note was still pinned on his back credenza.  That sticks with me to this day.

The first word in a well-written personal note should be “you.”

Contrast the following:  “I had a great time at your party.  I am so glad you included me…”

Or, would you rather receive this one?  “You are an amazing host!  Every detail was thought-out, your appetizers were unreal and your guests all had a fantastic evening, including me and my wife!  Thank you for hosting such a neat party!”

For y’all in the grammar police, the headline isn’t rife with errors.  In personal communication, and in marketing (which is, after all, quite personal…) “you” (the target, Client, prospect, etc) matters more than we (the marketer) do.  And, if we’re looking at it from the perspective of people who lead marketing teams, never forget that “they” (the people you’re marketing to) matter more than you.

It’s simple — and difficult all at the same time.

We love to talk about ourselves.  Our products.  Our experiences.  The great time we had at your party.

People want to hear about themselves.  How they’ll feel by using our products.  By trusting our expertise.  About how they’re the best party-hosters.

It’s simple — and difference-making when we get it right.