“Can’t never did no such a thing.”
– Richard “Dick” Heston (1933-2002), a Southeast Iowa farmer
“Can’t died the year before I went to the country school.”
– Parse DeJong ( 1920-2006), a Northeast Iowa (then Wisconsin) Presbyterian Pastor
Opposite corners of the state. Same perspective.
If you think you can, you might. If you say you can’t, you’re done.
These two products of one-room school houses sum up the most significant ingredient in accomplishment with these two quirky lines.
During baseball season this past summer, I broke one of them out on The Middle of The Three Who Will Not Be Tamed. In the midst of a major batting slump (the kind that can bring a 9-year-old to tears — not to mention his coach/father…) he pronounced, “Daddy, I can’t hit.”
I started to launch in to my polished, compelling “positive attitude” speech, “Yes, you can, son. You have to believe in yourself….blah, blah, Zig Ziglar “check up from the neck up…”.
Instead, I thought, “Gee, I wonder what Dad would say?” And I remembered, because I heard it precisely 47,311 times as a younger man: “You know what your PaPa Rich would say? He’d say, “Can’t never did no such a thing.”
Our 9-year-old cleanup hitter looked me in the eye and said, “Daddy, that is NOT good English.”
I explained that no, it wasn’t, but what Grandpa meant was you had to believe you could accomplish something in order to do it.
There was a pause. I expected excuses, a complete subject change or for him to say, “Dad, you’re losing your mind…”
Instead, he said, “Well, I CAN hit —- I’m just not hitting right now.”
Next game. 3-for-4, double, triple, game winning hit.
Thanks, Dad. Thanks, Parse. You guys STILL make a difference.
Joann (DeJong) Hellberg says
Thank you Steve. My brother, your friend, Jim e-mailed this to me today. How heart warming to know that dad’s legacy not only lives on through his family but friends also. I shed a tear as I read your
meaningful article. And, yes, I believe I can even hear dad’s voice repeat that sentence still today when I doubt whether I can accomplish something. Your article has been printed and goes into my box of memories I keep in memory of my parents.
Joann (DeJong) Hellberg
Jackson, MI
Steve Heston says
Joann, guys like Parse — the kind that make a difference long after they’ve left us — are few and far between. I like to picture him and Dad, looking down, chuckling and shaking their heads and saying, “Look, they’re doing it AGAIN!” It was good of you to take time to comment. Have a “Country School” day!