“Show your hand. The art of life is to show your hand. There is no diplomacy like candor. You may lose by it now and then, but it will be a loss well gained if you do. Nothing is so boring as having to keep us a deception.”
– E. V. Lucas (1868-1938)
Much is made of negotiation tactics and strategies that require some misdirection, or for people to hold back their true wishes for the outcome. Terms like “the art of the deal” help sell books. One of my mentors often cautioned not to “spill your cookies in the lobby.” Showing your hand was never taught and rarely encouraged.
Over time, Lucas’ perspective has become more prevalent.
As Spicoli said, in Fast Times At Ridgemont High, “Mr. Hand, if I’m here, and you’re here, doesn’t that make it OUR time?” (No pun intended with the whole “show your hand / Mr. Hand thing…but I digress…)
If we’re at the table with another party, it is “our time,” of course. And, today, everyone has less time to waste than ever before.
Why not show our hand, or at the very least, indicate what our intent is? It will absolutely save “our time,” and maybe it will even make a difference.
Simon Wiltshire says
I couldn’t agree more Steve. Those that think they are soooo clever by hiding intent invariably leave behind a poor taste, even if they close a transaction. Life is about relationships not transactions.
Steve Heston says
Dang, wish I’d have said that, Simon! Nicely played…