Should We?

“I should have thrown the curve ball…”

• Steve Heston, 1980, after surrendering a monstrous home run during my tryout for the University of Iowa baseball team

Last player cut. Based on that one pitch. 0-2 count, two straight spectacular fastballs, swings and misses, and I thought “there’s no way he thinks I’m throwing him a third straight fastball.” It turns out the senior, #3 hitter for the Hawkeyes figured out that this stupid freshman was just cocky enough to throw him a third straight fastball. He hit it so far, it landed about two stalls over from where we tailgate 45 years later. And it landed about four days ago. High. Far. Like it was launched from a mortar. (Can you tell I still might not be over it?)

But I should be…right?

And therein lies the problem.

The word “should.”

Should has very few (if any) positive connotations. Used in the past tense, it’s ultimately futile. No matter how much I think I want to, I can’t return to September 1980 and throw the kid a curve ball. No matter how much I’ve convinced myself over the 45 years since that day, I have no idea if it would have been the right thing to do. And I won’t. Ever. Know.

Used in the present tense, it’s counterproductive. “I should probably start over.” “I should think about changing jobs.” “I should give my boss a piece of my mind.” “I should apologize for being late this morning…”

Should you? The word itself sets everything back. It’s a ginormous rearview mirror where a windshield is supposed to be.

In the present tense, it’s completely passive. “I should get back in the gym.” “I should do dry January.” “I should skip dessert.” (Digression alert! Dry January? Um, no thank you. January sucks and a sip of good whiskey can’t hurt that much…)

In the past tense, let it lie. In the present tense, decide and do. And in the future tense, replace “should” with “will.”

It’s not that it should make a difference. It absolutely will. (See what I did there?)