Responding

“Most things in life are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. Most things just are.”

• Dr. Tom Graf, the second most quoted dude in the Diff

I was missin’ me some Dr. Graf, and had him teed up for this morning, anyhow, and then the Wise Colonel in our Friday Morning Lion Chaser’s Men’s Bible Study drove it home.

Paraphrasing, he said, with his quiet intensity: “Why do we focus so much time and energy trying to control how other people respond instead of on how we respond.”

As a group study, we’re in Ephesians and talking about anger – righteous or otherwise – and how we’re instructed to eradicate it from our lives, or at least have heightened awareness and resistance to it.

“Don’t go to bed angry.” This is not just good advice for interacting with our coworkers, employees, kids, spouses or partners—it’s Biblical. And it applies to our work-a-day lives, too. Don’t step out of the meeting angry. Don’t go to the next meeting angry about the last one. Don’t let anger color the way we deal with those with whom we are not angry.

Better yet, don’t get angry, especially if our anger is more about our ego or pride than whatever else might be behind it. And understand that our anger is likely more about our ego or pride than whatever else we think might be behind it.

Jefferson said, “Our disappointments in life are almost always tied to our expectations and rarely to our circumstances.” Dr. Graf would probably say, “Right, Tom, old boy, because most things in life are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. Most things just are.”

As Difference Makers, it will always come down to what we do next.