“We cannot control what emotions or circumstances we will experience next, but we can choose how we will respond to them.”
– Gary Zukav, American author and spiritual teacher
Reacting is good if someone chucks a baseball at your melon. Reacting is good if you step off the curb and see a truck hurtling in your direction. Reacting is good if we are in immediate danger.
Otherwise, difference makers don’t react. They respond.
So, a theory: reacting = bad when compared to responding, which = good always.
How can we tell the difference?
If we’re e-mailing in real time with someone, one of us — or BOTH of us — are reacting. Pick. Up. The. Phone. If we’re second guessing someone that knows what they’re doing, we’re probably reacting to some fear or issue of ours that might not have any meaning to or impact on them. As a leader, trust the people around you, or get better people around you. Step up to your own fears, but at all cost, get to the point that Monday Morning Quarterbacking is not a part of a Difference Maker’s repertoire.
There is one primary difference between reacting and responding.
Thinking. Contemplating and dealing with facts. Instincts play, certainly, but not the fight-or-flight kind that beg for reaction.
When we think, we respond. When we respond, we typically make a difference. When we react, all we usually do is wreck someone else’s day.
Choose to think. Choose to respond.
Colleen says
The Chairman of my former employer once advocated to our client base (insurance brokers) that they respond to emails as needed, but not press SEND until the end of the day when they had had a chance to reread, rethink, etc. NO ONE gave his advice any credence. He was just an old guy who didn’t understand the real world. (He was also the 17th most wealthy guy in the U.S.)
But I never forgot it, and try to live with this rule, at least in spirit. And in the spirit of Thanksgiving, thank you, Steve, for your thoughts!