“Feel what they feel. And treat them as you want them to be, not as they are.”
– Gabe Krajicek, CEO of BancVue
Why all the fuss about questions? Because, used correctly, they get you in a place to empathize your hiney off. Used correctly, they allow you to feel what “they” feel.
This coaching advice, even without the context of “questions,” is pretty good, and in the context of “questions,” it’s simply great.
How will we know what “they” feel? We’ll ask them. And we’ll listen to their answers with our ears and our eyes and our souls. And why should we see “them” as we want them to be? Because life — business, relationships, parenting — is about evolution and outcomes, and until we see, in our mind’s eye, the outcome of the discussion, debate or dialogue, we might miss an opportunity to grow – or help someone else grow.
An associate of mine made a big ol’ presentation on change yesterday. He nailed it. He flat nailed it, giving his team hope and understanding and perspective and motivation. Why? Because he’d spent months asking them — and himself — questions, and because he leveraged the coaching statement above with his natural ability and passion for the topic.
He felt what they felt. He saw them as he wanted them to be. And, whaddya know, one hour later — they were weeks, if not months, advanced along that path.
Empathy? Sure. Leadership? Dang right! Difference making? As Verne Lundquist said when Jack Nicklaus made the putt at #16 on Sunday of the ’86 Masters — “Yes SIR!”
Leave a Reply