Presence

“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.”

–       Epictetus

I’ve also read that, as parents, the best we can give our kids is our presence – to be with them, and to be completely with them.  The CrackBerry and the laptop, the incessant ringing of the phone and pinging of the text message makes even that more difficult these days, but when we commit to complete presence, the rewards usually outweigh the investment.

Another angle on presence can be seen in meetings.  All too often, they start (and run) late, and too many attendees are guilty of not really being there  — not being present.  They’re multi-tasking, doing the “iPhone prayer,” all head-bowed and typing “discretely” when the matter at hand deserves our presence — our focus.  (Another thought on multi-tasking; it’s amazing how discrete we aren’t being when we’re trying to be discrete, eh?)

But Epictetus may have captured the most important “take” on presence.

Who we choose to hang with really matters.

In tough times, do we gravitate to the “complainers,” or the “solvers.”  Do we go to lunch with folks who’s glass is half full or half empty?  Given a choice between a challenging boss or one that lets us walk all over them, which would we choose?  I like for the best in me to be called forth, so most of my friends are pretty strong personalities and people who expect those around them to “step up.”

I am blessed in my circle of friends and associates to have a number of people who call forth the best in me.  I enjoy keeping company with them, and not because it’s always easy.  I try to associate with people who deliver the unvarnished truth as often as possible.  Presence with them makes me stronger.

Keep company — and be present — with people who call forth the best in you, and when you’re with them, be completely with them.  That’ll make it easier to make a difference.