“Well ever since I’ve walked, I’ve heard men talk about the one that got away.
I’ve heard old men call, I’ve seen young men crawl for the one that got away
And in their darkest hour, you can hear them say, “I’d give all I’ve got for just one more shot at the one that got away.”
– Lyric from “The One That Got Away” by The Rainmakers (or, “Steve, Bob and Rich” when I first saw them in 1983…)
The rear-view mirror is my least favorite part of the metaphorical automobile, because human nature is to think about the one that got away. And in our darkest hours, the ones that got away haunt us instead of teach us.
We all have ones that got away. That deal in the Rio Grande Valley in Texas in 1995. The job in Chicago, 2005. That first-round state baseball game against West Des Moines Dowling in 1978 or 1979 (3 unearned runs in the bottom of the 6th…). The stinkin’ spelling bee in fifth grade (on a technicality, no less!).
It’s easy to think we’d like one more shot at the ones that got away. But, fact is, we can’t have it.
Everything up to right now is over. Character and growth happen out of what we do next.
It’s all about what we do next. One of my StrengthsFinder themes (Buckingham) is “context.” A context theme helps us use history to inform the next decision we make, and allows us to not commiserate over the one that got away. And it’s not just deals, jobs, games and spelling bees. Sometimes it’s just time. For example, the only way I could be further behind this week is if it was next week already, and it danged near is. Nothin’ I can do about that. It’s what I do next that matters. The same is true for all of us.
Woulda, shoulda and coulda are miserable mates. Will, shall and can are more better.
Instead of the one that got away, let’s focus on the next one, and make something incredible today.
(The Rainmakers are a Kansas City-based band that dates to the early 1980’s. Their lead singer, lyricist and band leader, Bob Walkenhorst is one unique and uber-talented dude who still plays around KC. The Rainmakers have been to the KC area what REM became to Athens, GA. The link above is to a recent acoustic recording of “The One That Got Away.” Other great records by the band are “Doomsville,” “Downstream,” “Let My People Go-Go” and they’re still HUGE in Norway — see live show link here! )
Steve
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