“Authenticity is the alignment of head, mouth, heart and feet – thinking, saying, feeling and doing the same thing – consistently. This builds trust, and followers love leaders they can trust.”
– Lance Secretan, (b. 1939) leadership authority and former Managing Director of Manpower, Inc. in the UK
I was wrong.
I am sorry.
Here’s what I learned.
Those three statements in that order are pretty powerful.
Notice the absence of the word “but.”
“I was wrong, but…” “I am sorry, but…” “Here’s what I learned, but…”
The word “but” contradicts the statement. It just does. If there’s a “but” we don’t really mean the words that preceded it…
When we’re real, it’s ok to be wrong. It’s ok to be sorry. And, whether we’re real or not, we’d dang sure better be learning along the way.
When we’re not being real, we’re averting blame, or worse yet, blaming. When we’re not being real, we’re the victim, not a participant in the relationship. When we’re not being real, our “buts” get in the way.
When we’re real, we’re using the missteps to get closer to the outcomes we all seek together. When we’re real, we are comfortable admitting to others when we screw up, and we’re adamant that it become a foundation for getting it more better (“more better” is a technical term…) the next time around. And, before we can admit to someone else that we were wrong, we need to be comfortable admitting it to ourselves.
I bet that will make a difference.
Simon Wiltshire says
I couldn’t agree more Steve. I can cite a part experience with a client where we really did screw up (it does happen!) but our own organizational humility was in short supply. A few candid conversations with the client, and total humility in our mistakes, led to an equally candid admission on his part as to their mistakes, and a much more productive relationship thereafter, allowing us to get past the bumps in the road and complete a very complex project on time and on budget, with virtually no disruption to the business.