No

“No is a complete sentence. It does not require an explanation to follow. You can truly answer someone’s request with a simple “no.“

• Sharon E. Rainey, American Writer, Activist, Entrepreneur, Wife, Mother, and Lyme Warrior*

For years, I’ve been telling myself I get overcommitted, but I don’t. I am careful about making commitments, so technically, I’m not overcommitted. That said, I sometimes allow myself to get over-obligated.

Obligations are thrust upon us by people who ambush us with an urgent emergency, or worse, a “quick question.” These people know quick questions often have complicated answers, but they just don’t care. They hide behind the word “quick” to pretend they are asking for nothing more than a flickering moment of our time and attention.

Typically, we’re not committed to do what they ask of us, but we feel obligated nonetheless.

Just say no. (It’s not just for turning down drugs anymore!)

“Quick question?” “No.” See how easy that was? “Hey, let me run something by you…” “No.”

If that seems too harsh, we can crawl, walk, and run with responses like, “I’d love to help, but I just can’t right now. There are a couple things that require my full attention, so I can’t afford the distraction.” Or, “Dang! I’d love to, but if you’d be willing to send me a note so I can wrap my head around it later this week, I’d give you a much more thorough response.”

If they work for us, it’s an excellent opportunity to empower and encourage: “Steve, got time for a quick question?” “Look, Pat, if it’s just a quick question, trust your instincts and let me know how it works out. If things get sideways, then let’s set some time to address it once you’ve done your best…”

Don’t get me wrong. The water-cooler conversation has value if we has time! (Grammatical error made on purpose, cause sometimes I do that…)

^{Editor’s Note: If you don’t know anyone who’s struggled with Lyme Disease, you might not fully appreciate the “Lyme Warrior” part of Sharon’s bio. Lyme disease is a b****.}