Motive, Agenda, Behavior

“In law, a man is guilty when he violates the rights of another: In ethics, he is guilty if he only thinks of doing so.”

–      Immanuel Kant, German philosopher (1724-1804) as quoted in The Speed of Trust; The One Thing That Changes Everything, by Stephen M. R. Covey

Covey’s base claim is that not only does intent matter, but that it grows out of character. He goes on to point out that it’s easy to judge ourselves on our intent, but that we tend to judge others based on their behavior, and – this is important – that “our perception of intent has a huge impact on trust.”

So, there are two lessons here.

1) We’d better make sure our behaviors match our intent, and

2) We’d better be hesitant, both to judge, and certainly to judge without knowing.

A deeper dive on intent is informed by Covey’s contention that there are three key elements to understanding intent; motive, agenda and behavior. He frames them in this order on purpose. Motive sets the compass, agenda “grows out of motive,” and behavior is “the manifestation of motive and agenda.”

“The motive that inspires the greatest trust is genuine caring.” (Page 78) Believing that someone cares matters a great deal. Showing – proving – that we care is a great gift, to us and to others. Not only does it make us easier to trust, it makes people want us to trust them, and can, I believe, impact their motives, agendas and behaviors.

“The agenda that generally inspires the greatest trust is seeking mutual benefit.” (Page 80) “Win – Win” can mean many different things to many different people, so the key consideration here is about transparency. How do we define “win?” How does the other party define “win?” How do those definitions evolve as the relationship evolves? If everyone is committed to doing what is “genuinely best for all involved?” If that’s the agenda, trust gets inspired.

“The behavior that best creates credibility and inspires trust is acting in the best interest of others.” (Page 81) Other than clearly stating the rubber-meets-road benefit, Covey sews the thread firmly in to the fabric of our relationships. Regardless of your position on matters of Faith, setting ourselves aside to the benefit of others brings about a sense of peace and an ability to hit the pillow that is truly heavenly. And, it sets aside any worries we have about the “sins of the mind” vs. “sins of commission” angle called out in the Kant quote at the top of today’s D².

Grab the book, and even if you only start reading at the bottom of page 84, it’ll be one of the best gifts you give yourself, and will, in fact, put you in a position to make a difference.