“We don’t function well as human beings when we’re in isolation.”
– Robert Zemeckis (b. 1952), American film writer, director and producer, most famous, perhaps for Back to The Future
A mentor, coach and one of the truest friends I will ever know suffered a setback last week and has been placed in a rehab facility near our home. I can’t see him. Nor can his sons, grandchildren, other friends.
Everyone I know is either working from home, laid off or worried as heck about what comes next for them. For those of us working, but from remote locations, people we work with every day are faced with different emotions, reactions, energy levels, patience, and tolerance. Working from home, in isolation, means we won’t function as well as when we’re together.
“But, Heston,” you might say, “we have all these tools and technology today! Who really needs to go into the office? What benefit is there in being face-to-face?”
Well, candidly, we need to go into the office. What benefit? Functioning better, for one. Feeling part of something, for another. Community, connectedness, and camaraderie.
Seven people today told me that “it is what it is…”
There is no phrase that I dislike more than “it is what it is.” I don’t believe that’s an informed perspective, or that it’s a particularly helpful viewpoint. Harshly stated, I think it’s a copout.
That said, we are, in fact where we are, and to some degree wherever that is, it’s more isolated than we’re used to.
Now is an exceptional time to consider what we’ll do differently, next…
And, when we’re no longer asked to be in isolation voluntarily, what will we do about those we know who are isolated involuntarily?
We don’t function well alone. Eve was created because Adam would have been useless by himself. Friendships are built because we, plus our friends, are more than the sum of the people. We’re a community.
Two to-do’s…
- When we’re no longer pressed to be in isolation — what behaviors will we change? Make a list. Share a few items from that list in the comments section below this post…
- Who are the people we know who’re isolated regardless of pandemics; who are discriminated against, marginalized, lonely, afraid or paralyzed by fear or hurt? How will we reach out to them now, and “after” to make a difference for them?
We don’t function well in isolation. How will we change the way we look at isolation when it becomes an option again?
In times of great challenge comes great opportunity to learn, grow, and change ourselves, or at least our approach? What kind of difference will we choose to make when we come out of isolation?
Barb Woods says
Hmmmmm. I think for the first time, I disagree with a good deal of what you said here. I’ve never been less isolated . . . even though I haven’t been in the presence of other people for 2.5 weeks! People are reaching out to me that I’ve lost touch with. Others that I’m closer to have too.
“We are where we are” is the same as “It is what it is” . . . and it’s an indication of acceptance! And when we accept what we can’t change, peace and connection are once again possible.
This is an extraordinary time to get to know ourselves better! Now that we don’t have the distractions that are our favorites for taking us away from ourselves, those things within us can now demand our attention! How about those old hurts and fears that we tucked deep into our unconsciousness? Many of the fears that are popping up in us unrequested are more than the fears of what is happening now. They are those old unconscious “programs” that hold us back from being all that we can be, that keep us from true freedom of expression! Let them come! Let them tell you who/what they are . . . and then release them, knowing they weren’t true then . . . and they aren’t true now!
So hunker down . . . and use this time to transform into a better version of yourself.
Steve Heston says
Most of you won’t know or have a reason to know that the author of this comment has / had a major positive impact on my career. As a coach, Barb called us (there were about six of us) out on our own BS, and helped us call out others on theirs. She helped us understand our strengths and play to them. I still don’t like “it is what it is,” probably because I know too many people that say it without thinking. “We are where we are” very well maybe just as much of a copout, as my friend / former Coach points out. Maybe I got a little lazy there. Where we do agree (as is true in many cases with many different people) is what matters: Reaching out to people, close or somehow separated, getting to know ourselves better, fewer distractions (if we allow that to be the case!) and erasing the old tapes that get slipped back into the figurative 8-tracks in the figurative dashboards of our figurative ’73 Mustangs. Barb, here’s to a better version of ourselves, tomorrow, the day after and so on… Thanks for still making a difference for me, and for the loyal subscribers to The Daily Diff…