During the discussion, Dr. Becky shared that most people don’t totally understand the meaning of guilt, an assertion that changed my view on the topic entirely. Dr. Becky posited that true guilt arises when we act out of alignment with our own values, but we often use the word guilt to describe something very different: the emotional discomfort we feel when our values-aligned decision triggers an emotional response from others. In these moments, we’re not experiencing genuine guilt; instead, we’re absorbing someone else’s emotions and blurring the line between their feelings and our own.
- Excerpted from Robert Glazer‘s “Friday Forward” from January 24, 2025
Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist and Robert Glazer is a prolific writer and successful CEO who’s Friday Forward is worth the read. And this one, was Diff worthy!
A mentor of mine used to say, “Don’t be guilty, it’ll cripple you! Guilt will KILL you!” It was always a bit of an enigma to me. If we have intentionally or unintentionally wronged someone or done something stupid that hurt someone, isn’t guilt a natural response? Heck, friends of mine from a couple specific faiths believe that guilt is fundamental to their Belief.
This take on guilt, that we’re not experiencing it at our core, rather we’re absorbing someone else’s emotions is worth considering. And not just for guilt.
Emotions are real. They’re human. We ought to experience them. The point I took from this Friday Forward is that we’ll be busy enough dealing with our own to take on others’.
Not at the sake of empathy. For the sake of sanity.
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