“Command is lonely.”
– The final lesson in Colin Powell’s 18-lesson “Leadership Primer”
Most people think they want to be in charge. Most people think they’re leaders.
Until they realize that command is lonely.
Most people want to be in charge when it comes to speaking at the company Christmas party, or when it comes to hosting the customer for dinner and a ball game. Most people want to be leaders when bonuses get handed out for a great year, or when there’s a ribbon cutting for the new plant, the new park sponsored by the company or when the United Way giving campaign is tallied up.
Those are not lonely times. Those also represent about one-tenth of one percent (or less) of the way a leader spends his or her time.
Leaders can feel lonely, because leadership is, by definition, a lonely place.
Firing someone who’s quit performing the job is a lonely time.
Laying off a shift because the sales team has failed is a lonely time.
Admitting a flaw in the strategy, a mistake in calculating the earnings, a theft by an employee or the loss of a customer — those are all lonely times.
Deciding which product to fund when there’s not enough capital to fund two. Deciding whether to cut salaries to offset an increase in taxes and / or regulatory and compliance expense. Exiting a market in order to fund and launch a “make it or break it” move in to a transformational new space. Going “all in” when you truly understand the ramifications of “all in.”
Those are not times when most people want to be in charge. Those are times that call for leaders.
“The essence of leadership is the willingness to make the tough, unambiguous choices that will have an impact on the fate of the organization.” Note he didn’t say “ability.” The ability is in more people than is the willingness. It is far easier to know the right thing to do than it is to do it. Leaders lead.
No matter how open, informal and collaborative your culture becomes on your watch, General Powell is right — “Prepare to be lonely.”
Leaders lead.
Simon Wiltshire says
Very good Steve. An oft-forgotten aspect of leadership. The other piece (unspoken) is the loneliness of realizing how many people are dependent on you for their livelihood, their family’s welfare, their sense of worth and all of the other attributes that come with being employed.
Steve Heston says
Agreed, Simon. It’s the ones who look to us for their sense of worth that worry me the most. My work is not my worth, but our society has drummed it in to people for so long that the opposite is true — it’s no wonder so few people follow their dreams, and even a smaller percentage are able to identify what they are! Lencioni writes compellingly about establishing and then over-communicating organizational clarity as a means of making the connections more solid and the culture more transparent. Good stuff, as always, Simon!
Tom Gelin says
Great Blog Steve
We got to see “Lincoln” this weekend. What was so impressive in the movie was portrayl of the non-negotiable course Lincoln set to get what he believed in. He had so many opportunities to do good or better, and refused them all for the opportunity to do great. And then he paid the ultimate price as a reward.
Steve Heston says
Don’t tell me he dies in the movie, too? Dammit! I am dying to see this movie, as I have believed for years that Lincoln is what we should all aspire to be as leaders, responsible for the futures of those in our charge. Team of Rivals, DKG’s biography of Abraham Lincoln is one of the most compelling books ever, in my mind.
Joseph Caprez says
I think your points are accurate and true, but there is a sample of leaders that choose isolation.
Sure, there are the pretenders (i.e. not real leaders for which “isolationism is hiding”), but there are also those who choose to tackle the necessary evils and resulting demons of leadership – alone.
I see the leaders with the greatest longevity as having the inner fortitude to separate business & personal and surround themselves with people equally capable. Additionally, leaders can connect with other leaders (and in my opinion should) and be comfortable with a collaborative approach to managing “the before and after”.
As stated, a leader should be prepared to be lonely, and they will feel alone often times, but they some times choose be lonely, when they could “discuss the unspoken” with other leaders.
Steve Heston says
A). That was long. B). It was also solid. Well said!