“All faults may be forgiven of him who has perfect candor.”
– Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)
Candor can be difficult — to receive or to deliver.
It is also necessary — in order to make a difference.
The word “perfect,” thrown in here by ol’ Walt, adds a level of complexity to the thought process, doesn’t it?
If we believe that intent matters more than content (and I do) it creates a great deal of pressure to make sure that our intent is in synch with a meaningful outcome. Perfect is a difficult aim — but maybe it’s where we should set the bar when it comes to candid, crucial conversations.
Telling an employee that they’re not getting it done may seem harsh, but when perfect candor is combined with clear expectations, it can be a career-changer for the employee and a game-changer for the employer.
Telling a friend that a behavior is harming their relationships may seem cold, but when perfect candor is combined with honorable intentions, it can be a life-changer for both parties.
Telling a boss they’ve lost touch with the team, telling a customer that they’re contributing to the problem, telling a client that the strategy is either wrong or not being executed well — if we get close to perfect candor, perhaps any fault one might find with our content will be forgiven, based upon our intent.
Even if turns out poorly — let’s try to candidly make a difference.
Simon Wiltshire says
Candor is closely related to integrity. If you establish a reputation for integrity, candor is accepted, embraced, appreciated and expected. If you develop a track record for aligning your words and your actions and – critically – if you demonstrate the ability to receive and act upon candid feedback yourself, then not only can you deliver candor all day long, but you can be respected and paid for it. Of course, candor should not be confused with tactlessness – delivery is still almost as important as the message!
Steve Heston says
I love the counter-balance tie to integrity, Simon! Yet again, you improve on my original point. How DO you do it?!
Christine Nieman says
Open, honest and appropriate – right?
Steve Heston says
Very impressive these 19 years later! Nicely played!
Al Barry says
From A Few Good Men …Jessep (Jack Nicholson): You want answers?
Kaffee (Tom Cruise): I think I’m entitled to them.
Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee: I want the truth!
Jessep: You can’t handle the truth!
The reality about truth is some bosses and organizations don’t want to hear the truth… be very careful when someone claims to have an open door policy … often times the door will hit you in the butt as you are shown the door. (I was reorganized three times, my candor wasn’t always well received) Being in the right organization that is open to ideas and not top down driven is very important. When Ron Johnson took over as CEO of JCPenney (JCP) in January, his mantra was “no more coupons.” Johnson said that the retailer was switching to a model of everyday low prices without constant promotions. But since then, comparable-store sales have fallen 20 percent. Recently in a TV interview he still believes in his model… he isn’t listening to customers, stockholders …and he shure would listen if you worked for him and suggested he was wrong…
Beware HONESTY (candor) isn’t always the best policy.
Al
Steve Heston says
Al, some good thoughts here. The key is to know the perspectives of the other people in the conversation, and moderate your candor accordingly. The other opportunity that I thought of in reading your much appreciated comments was that I wonder why more people don’t choose employers, instead of thinking that the employers are the only ones with choices. Understanding full well that not everyone can opt out of a job to look for a better “fit,” I believe that if ALL we get right is “fit,” we’ll be ok. Not everyone could work for Steve Jobs, or Gates or Welch or whomever — but when we really become part of the team — then some magic can happen, and our candor becomes a multiplier.