“She gave me a bunch of crap about not listening to her, or something. I don’t know.  I wasn’t really paying attention.”

–     Harry, in the movie “Dumb and Dumber”

Are there things we do that are dumb?

Isn’t continuing to do them, by definition, “dumber?”

This is one of those movies that I shouldn’t admit I enjoyed, although I can’t get my kids or my wife to believe that I really hated “The Karate Kid,” the first time around, and therefore, should be exempt from having to see the re-make…but I digress.

We do dumb things.  All of us.  And, as a team (or a company) we do them, collectively.  Ever attend a meeting that was only being held because the time was blocked on everyone’s calendar?  Ever hold one?  Ever go ahead and make a case for something you knew wasn’t a fit for the client, just because it was what we happened to have in our mind at that time?  Ever assume that someone was about to say or do something either really smart or really not-smart, just because their reputation was one or the other?

If we’re doing dumb stuff, it might be because we’re not paying attention.  If that’s the case, reach up and pull the emergency stop cord on whatever car you’re in on the train and do an intervention.

We’ll all listen, and we’ll thank you for making a difference.

“When you cease to exist, then who will you blame?”

–     Bob Dylan

Blame is a loser’s game.

Fact:  If we’re gonna blame others for our failures and shortcomings, then we ought to give others credit for our successes.

I am reminded of the scene from the Blues Brothers Movie where Jake “explains” all the reasons it wasn’t his fault.  I am reminded of people who blame the data, the market conditions, the “timing of the offer.”  Was it our parents?  Was it our siblings?

Winners take responsibility.  Difference makers own their outcomes.

Losers blame.

Look around.  It might.  Be.  Our.  Fault.

And what we do next is all that matters.

It is up to us, and it is on us.  God put us here, now, for a reason.  And, guaran-dang-tee you that reason was NOT to blame someone or some thing else.

“A truth that’s told with bad intent beats all the lies that you can invent.”

–     William Blake (1757-1827), English visionary, poet and painter

If you mean “I won’t,” don’t say, “I can’t.”

There is a world of difference between the two.  If your boss or your company won’t let you — say, “I don’t have the authority to…” but don’t say “I can’t.”

More often than not, we can, but we won’t.

If the person on the other end of the conversation knows you can, but you keep telling them you can’t, you’ve lost trust, and, maybe, the customer.

Yesterday, I was on the phone for 2+ hours with a vendor that I have had a 25 year trusted, awesome relationship with.  They almost completely lost 25 years of goodwill because everyone I talked to said, “I can’t…” and they could, in fact.  Why did it take over two hours to get someone who could, and did?  Difference makers know the answer, and in the conversations they control or impact, they fix it before it gets ugly.

“I came, I saw, I conquered.”

–     Caesar, in a letter to a friend after vanquishing an over-matched foe

The Eldest is signing up for Latin, so I went with the original as the title…

We moved in to the house on August 19, 2013.  Last week, the garage finally buckled under my onslaught.  All three vehicles, parked inside.

In a white collar world, there are precious few opportunities to finish a task and be able to see the outcome.

The garage felt really good.

I wonder how we translate the visual to the workaday reality.

I bet it would make a difference.

“Hutchinson’s Law:  Any occurrence requiring undivided attention will be accompanied by a compelling distraction.”

–     Robert Bloch

Mrs. Tarantino:  “Are you the police?”

Elwood Blues:  “No, ma’am.  We’re musicians.”

     –     Dialogue from the Blues Brothers Movie, circa 1980, and still the best movie ever made

Difference makers know that we’re not the police, we’re musicians.  (Don’t worry, I’ll button it down a little better…)

Sometimes, though, when we find ourselves in a world full of distractions, and surrounded by people hell-bent on being distracting or providing distraction, we want to believe that we can fix the whole thing at once.  Well, we can’t.  We’re not the police.  We’re the musicians, and that means we gots to focus on da music.  The guy in the back, talking too loudly during the long pause in the cool song?  Just play through it.

So, as we focus on “the music” it’s important to remember that the songs we play are simple.

There are only seven notes (unless we wanna get all wrapped around the axle on flats and sharps and the like), so when it starts getting too complicated, maybe a little “chopsticks” is all we need to get our focus back.  To know our role.  And to leverage it to make a difference.

“She was a really cool kisser and she wasn’t all that strict of a Christian.
She was a damn good dancer but she wasn’t all that great of a girlfriend.
She likes the warm feeling but she’s tired of all the dehydration.
Most nights are crystal clear
But tonight it’s like I’m stuck between stations
On the radio.”

–    Lyric from “Stuck Between Stations” by The Hold Steady (with thanks to James Ryken for introducing me to this band…)

As a kid, I was hooked on radio.  My first “real” job was at KMCD / KBCT in my hometown.  Spinning records.  Reading the news.  Doing play-by-play for the girls basketball games the night after playing in our game.  (You’ve never really lived until, at age 17 you criticize, on the air, your girlfriend’s shot selection, with her dad sitting in front of you with his headphones on…)

I didn’t like the St. Louis Cardinals, and I still don’t — but I revered Jack Buck, their play-by-play guy on KMOX.  With a transistor under my pillow, pretending to sleep when Mom checked on me, I’d listen to as many games as I could, until Jack would say, “Thanks for your time this time, until next time, so long!  This is the St. Louis Cardinals radio network.”

Beaker Street on Sunday night, broadcast not from the studio but from the transmitter shack at KAAY, Little Rock, AR was the big hook.  The earliest forms of alternative rock would crackle through my transistor, but on nights when the moon was wrong or some other magnetic force dorfed up the atmosphere, the signal would fizzle in and out — making it sound like I was stuck between stations.

“Holy crap, Heston!” you might be thinking, “Get to the flipping point!”

Stuck between stations.  Static.  There are so many frequencies broadcasting their signals at us today (now, I am NOT talking about radio stations anymore), that the static is too pervasive.  468 e-mails so far this week.  That’s “net,” not gross.  It doesn’t count the 600 or so I have disposed of.  23 voice mails and counting.  16 meetings, not including the five I cancelled or declined.  It’s dopey, really, listening for a good tune when the static is up so loud.

But, choosing to tweak the dial just enough to get a clear signal — now THAT’s time well spent!  Because, if we’re not careful, we become desensitized to the static.  We accept the crappy signal.  We don’t fully appreciate the nights that are crystal clear unless we tweak the dial often enough to fully capture the tune, the phrase or the story.

Choosing through the static.  Difference making stuff.

“The older I get, the more I see a straight path where I want to go.  If you’re going to hunt elephants, don’t get off the trail for a rabbit.”

–               T. Boone Pickens, courtesy of my friend, David Newton

Straight paths.

T. Boone is on to something.  Growth is our “elephant.”  It feels to me, though, like we veer off after a lot of rabbits.  Some of it might be “shame on us,” and some of it is a sign of the times.  That’s where focus comes in to play.

How much of what we work on advances the ball for our cause?  How much of what we work on gets us sideways from our goals?  Our ability to focus….to discern the difference between those two conditions, will be key to our success.

The rabbit can also be described as the “illness of the urgent” which robs us of our focus on what’s important.  “Important” should trump “urgent” about 95% of the time, and that takes focus on the part of every member of the team.  Straight paths require that we consider:

●  “Urgent” doesn’t become important just because the boss asks for it.

●  “Important” is always important, even if the customer, our boss or our boss’s boss loses sight of that fact.

●  It is always ok to ask / know “why?” and it is often ok to say, “No.”

●  Open debate, productively engaged, can bring clarity to focus and restore “important” to its rightful place at the head of the table.

The path won’t be smooth all the time.  (Or much of the time.)  The path won’t be without potholes and puddles, slick spots and cracks, roots or other things to “stumble” over.  But, the straighter it is, the less likely we are to see “rabbits” and the more likely it becomes that we’re on the right track to hunt the elephant.

“No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself, or wants all the credit for doing it.”

–     Andrew Carnegie (1835-1919)

In the final analysis, do we really care who gets the credit?

After the age of about three, does it really matter whether we get attention or whether we don’t?

If we’re seeking credit or attention, it usually means that confidence is lacking.  That might sound harsh — and, I guess it sorta is, if attention and credit matter to you.

Difference makers reach a point where their confidence over-rides the need for credit or attention.  And they stay near that point.

There was a time when priorities were skewed, and the focus — a theme for this week — was out of whack.

It’s been a long time since credit or attention mattered — and that fact coincides with the point that making a difference mattered more.

“Now everybody’s got advice they just keep on givin’, doesn’t mean too much to me.  Everybody’s got to make believe they’re livin’, can’t decide who they should be…”

–     Lyric from “Peace of Mind” by 80’s rock band, Boston

If we’re just making believe we’re living, we’re lacking peace.

And if focus is our goal, knowing who we are is really, really important.

Advice is, and can be valuable.  Being real, and seeking the peace — of mind and otherwise — that allows us to focus will and does make a difference.

“The difference between the chicken and the pig is simple; when we sit down for bacon and eggs, we ought to remember that the chicken was involved, but the pig was committed.”

–     Unattributed, but often used (and TRUE) parable

On Friday night, we had a night out with just The Middle.  No sisters to pick on, no sister to pick on him.  Dinner and a movie, and a late dinner, at that.  He was “starvin’ Marvin,” to say the least.

But he didn’t whine.  He didn’t snark.  He didn’t punk out.  He laughed.  He joked.  He talked with us.  He smiled.

And, so did we.

It’s easy to be focused on being a good parent to three kids — and I hope and pray that we are.  But focusing on one kid at a time can be difficult unless we commit to each kid, individually.  Leading a team can be difficult, no matter how focused we are on the team, until we remember that by committing to each member of that team will make us more effective for the unit.

Yesterday’s theme (Focus Requires Sacrifice) is related to, but not synonymous with today’s.  Certainly in the parable, the pig made a sacrifice that the chicken didn’t.  But when we sacrifice the un-important things to devote time and energy to the important, it frees up time and energy to really commit to the important things.

Friday night, it felt like we did something important, and we were, without any pressure to “spread to love” to the Eldest and the Youngest, who were safely tucked away at sleep-overs, focused on and committed to The Middle.  Everyone had fun.  Everyone smiled, laughed, joked and talked.

All because of a little focus.

I wonder how to carry that over to the weekend?  To Monday?  I wonder how much of a difference it will make when we bring a little more commitment to fewer things each day.

I think it will be significant.  I hope we get it closer to right.  And, if Saturday night’s Father / Daughter Dance with The Youngest, is an further indicator, we can.  Now, what to do with The Eldest…?