“It was late in December, the sky turned to snow
All round the day was going down slow
Night like a river beginning to flow
I felt the beat of my mind go
Drifting into time passages
Years go falling in the fading light
Time passages
Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight”

–     Lyric from Al Stewart’s “Time Passages” circa 1978

It’s not December and with a forecast high of 104, I don’t think the sky will turn to snow.  Still, after three days on a remote lake with Mrs. H and The Three Who Will Not Be Tamed, I find the beat of my mind going to time passages.

Yesterday was also the anniversary of my Uncle’s passing, which makes me miss him, and my dad, who passed shortly before he did.  Add on my 35th high school reunion and the tragic accidental death of a classmate last week, and perhaps that’s why I’m thinking about a ticket on the last train home tonight.

So, what’s it all mean in the broader context, or in the business context?

What’s gone before is only there to inform what goes ahead.  It’s not precedent and it’s not predictive, it’s just there — expecting that we learn from it.

Lessons learned this week:

Take the kids to the water more often.  They love it, even though Dad doesn’t, and they laughed a lot.  There is no music as delightful as the laughter of your children.

Call your parents, uncles, aunts, friends, spouses, children and tell them you love them.  As often as you can.  They’re gone too soon.  In the office, acknowledge effort, outcomes, attitude and attempts, because there is no guarantee of tomorrow, and today’s all we’ve got that we can do anything about.

Remember what it was that made _______ the best year ever (I can’t decide if it was 1978, 1980 or 1998…) and look for ways to draw on that “best-est-ness” today.

Then, go forward.  There are time passages to be teed up, and it’s up to us to tee them…

“If there is any difference between you and me, it may simply be that I get up every day and have a chance to do what I love to do, every day.  If you want to learn anything from me, this is the best advice I can give you.”

–     Warren Buffet, from chapter one of Marcus Buckingham’s Now Discover Your Strengths

Fourteen years later it still may well be the best business book I’ve ever read.

In this leadoff quote, Buffet was addressing a group of college students, all of whom were hoping to learn just what it was that made the Oracle of Omaha so much more successful than…well, than anyone.

“I get up every day… and do what I love to do, every day…”

Whodda thunkit?

What if it really is that simple?  What if it’s less about the promotion or the presentation or the collection call or the meeting, and completely about simply teeing up our world every morning to align with the gifts God gave us and the experiences we’ve had when we’re in “flow mode?”

We ought to ask ourselves a few questions:

1)  Whadda we love to do?

2)  How can we get up every day and do that thing, every day?

3)  Whadda we gonna do about all the crap that stands between what we do now and what we love to do?

These are not easy questions for most, and therefore, easy answers should not be expected.

Why this post, today?  On Thursday, I had lunch with two amazing entrepreneurs — and for an hour and 23 minutes I was doing it.  Teaching.  Coaching.  Challenging.  Reinforcing.  Guiding.  Learning.  I gotta get back to doing that every day.

“In Europe, 100 kilometers is a big deal.  In the USA, 100 years is.”

–     Marcus Turner, Chief Technology Officer, Enola Labs

I had the unique pleasure of meeting Marcus Wednesday night at an event hosted by Andrew Tull and Mark Stavrou — two of the most compelling people I’ve known in my career.

Add Marcus to that list.

I hope I got his quote correct, but it’s beautiful in how it captures the difference between our insular, comfortable existence here in the USA and the European, steeped in history and rich with tradition lifestyle.

In our careers, how do we define “a long way?”  Is it the distance between what we know we ought to do and what we’re currently doing?  Is it the time between believing and acting?  Is it the distance between where we are and where we aspire to be?

Just as in Europe, where high-speed trains make distance less relevant, and just as here in America, where a year is as a month is as a day compared to the rest of the world — the difference we make likely depends on how we break down our definition.  Incremental, consistent steps toward a goal, no matter how distant it may seem, is where we get momentum, where we impact others and where we make a difference.

“Everything’s that’s difficult you should be able to laugh about.”

–     Comedian Louis C. K.

I think it was Reader’s Digest that used to run a feature called, “Laugther:  The Best Medicine.”  And it’s true.  It really is.

Not only for the doldrums, the sad days, the heartbreaks and the pain — laughter cures in the business sense, too.

I had the honor of sitting in a couple-days-long session with a company that is considering a major upgrade to how they leverage twelve successful years to put the “exponential” element into their growth.

It’s going to be difficult.  There’s a ton of history around the table.  There’s a plethora of very smart people with very strong opinions.  It’s a big enough team that size will make it more difficult to change, and a small enough company that size will make it difficult to change.

I like their odds, though.

Because they laugh a lot.  In the face of danger.  At each other’s expense.  With each other.  Just in general, there was a lot of laughter in the room this week.

Facing something really difficult?  Laugh it off.  I’ve seen it work, yet again!

“Plans are of little importance.  But planning is essential.”

–     Winston Churchill

The Green Bay Packers (and most other successful football teams) typically “script” the first dozen or so offensive plays of each game.  Once the game begins, though, all bets are off if the defense shows something that gives them reason to change, to literally “call an audible.”

So it is with our business plans.  The better they are, the less likely they are to resemble what happens in the end.

Because it’s about the process.

General George S. Patton, another fairly significant World War II era dude (and a frequent DD contributor!), said repeatedly that a good plan executed today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

Possibility thinking and contingency thinking are magical elements because the game favors the prepared mind, and the mind honors the prepared body.

Is our team scripted for the opening drive?  Are we confident enough in them to give them the leeway to alter course if warranted?  How have we prepared them for that possibility and how will we instill in them the confidence to call their own audible?

The plans for these questions might end up being of little importance.  But the process of planning for them is essential.

“You’ve got to watch for what you don’t want to see and listen for what you don’t want to hear.”

–               John Madden

Don’t you sorta miss John Madden on football broadcasts?

Perhaps it goes beyond just watching and listening, though.  When we probe, we get to facts much faster.  When we are in possession of facts, we make better decisions.  We know where to practice, where to re-focus, where to cut bait and where to hunt big game.  Too often, though, we don’t really want to know…  A golfing buddy of mine often asks, “Am I the worst putter you’ve ever seen?”  (He is.)  Every time, I reply by saying, “You should never ask a question to which you don’t want to hear the answer.”

I don’t believe that, though.

We must ALWAYS ask questions we might not want to hear the answer to.  We must always look for the body language, the sudden (or gradual) change in behavior or the loss of ability to make eye contact, and we must probe to determine what’s behind them.  Otherwise, we’ll risk complacency and detachment, two “icky” (technical term) conditions.  Otherwise, we’ll risk getting surprised, and you know how we work to avoid surprises!

“What do you want from your people.  What do you want for them?”

–     Two questions posed by Susan Fowler in her book, Why Motivating People Doesn’t Work…And What Does:  The New Science of Leading, Energizing and Engaging

Have I mentioned that it’s a pretty good danged book?

Fowler’s point, leading off Chapter 7, is that managers readily answered the first of these two questions, but when asked the second one, the deer saw the headlights and they froze.

This little nugget of wisdom makes the book worth the price, because if all we do as leaders is shift the order in which we think of these questions, we’ll make a difference.  The multiplier effect comes when we focus on the leadership differences associated with the mind shift.

Why motivate, when we can difference-make?

What do we want for the people closest to us, at work, at home, in life — and how can we help them attain it?

Cool.  Stuff.

“Should is the most dangerous and damning word in the English language.”

–    Dr. Tom Graf

When we use the word “should,” we’re assuming much more power than we ever really have.  “Should” implies that we know every feeling you’re experiencing (and every experience you’re feeling) and that we somehow have a crystal ball, 8-ball or maybe just the plain ol’ balls to suppose that we know what you “should” do.

All we can ever know is what we would do, or at least we can suppose what we might do.  We can pose scenarios that might favor one action over another, or inaction over some action (or vice versa).  We can hypothesize, prophesy, preach, prod, predict and / or presume, but we never know what someone else should do.

Difference makers help others decide what they will do.

♦   “Wow, that sounds like quite a dilemma you’re facing.  What options are you considering?  What do you like most and least about each one?”

♦   “Oh, my, I am so sorry to hear that you’re facing ___________.  How can I help?  Even if it’s just listening, I’d like to make sure you don’t feel alone on this one…”

♦   “Holy cow!  I can envision several different courses of action for this situation, but it’s not me facing the decision, now is it?  I’m curious, what are you feeling, or what do your experiences and instincts tell you to do next?”

♦   “Are there people you know who have faced this kind of decision before?  Have you had any luck getting insight from them?”

♦   “How can I help?”

Compare those to:

♦   “You should quit.”

♦   “You should have never hired that guy!”

♦   “You should have fired her a long time ago!”

♦   “You should sue him!”

Call to action:  Instead of crippling someone by telling them what they should do, instill in them the confidence to decide well, given the freedom to consider what’s best for them to do.  Sadly, they’re expecting people to lead with “you should.”  They’ve been conditioned to be second guessed or mandated, to not trust the instincts and experiences that will absolutely guide them to whatever they ultimately decide they should do.  But it is critical that they decide.  It will be easier for them to ask, “What should I do?” and it will be difficult for us not to answer with a “you should” statement.

But we shouldn’t.  We mustn’t.  Let’s don’t.

“Fuzzy, how did you find the golf course this morning?”  

“Well, I walked out of the Clubhouse and there it was!”

–     An exchange between a sports reporter and Fuzzy Zoeller some years ago

Regrettably, the questions most sports reporters ask haven’t evolved or improved much, either.

It’s maddening, really.  I mean questions are the lifeblood of any business, but — and maybe this got drummed in to me too much as a fledgling journalism major 35 years ago — c’mon!  You’re a reporter, for cryin’ out loud!  Ask better questions.

Over the years, though, it’s been consistently amazing how infrequently key people have known the answer to key questions.  In the sales process.  In the customer care process.  In the legal process.  In any aspect of business, too often, we simply don’t know.

Usually, because we didn’t ask.

Or, if we did ask, we asked poorly, or incompletely.  Or, as my friend and mentor Dennis Kuester once said, “I keep asking your man for information, Steve, and he keeps giving me data instead!”

A good question is one that seeks to understand.  A good question is one that probes, that goes beyond the data point and gets to the cause or the root of the matter at hand.  A good question deals with feelings and facts, insight and information.

Think of the best question you’ve ever heard in a business setting.  Post it here in the “Speak Your Mind” section below, please.  I’ll consolidate them and publish them back in a future post.

Oh.  One more thing.  The worst question is the one we don’t ask…

“On time is five minutes late.  Five minutes early is on time.”

     –     Ron Prill, Fairfield, IA High School Band Leader for about 2/3 of my lifetime, and Jim Peterson, FHS baseball coach back in the 70’s and 80’s

“37% of meetings start late, by a average of nearly 15 minutes…”

    –    Sue Shellenberger, WSJ Columnist, from Saturday’s Wall Street Journal article titled “Don’t Be Late or You’ll Be A Schedule-Wrecker“

If there are 10 people in the “average meeting,” and they earn an “average” of $50,000 annually, and you have just two meetings per week — do the math.  This “average” delay costs your firm at least $130,000 in productivity.

The article though (accurately, I believe) describes even more compelling reasons to be the heck on time.

♦  Nearly 25% of workers feel “frustrated” when a colleague is late by only 10 minutes

♦  Delays put participants in a “bad mood,” and causes them to “lose concentration.”

♦  If the worst offender is the boss, a multiplier effect on the negativity gets applied.

Difference makers start and end on time.  They communicate in advance.  (I’ve always, and I mean always believed that we always, and I mean always know in advance if we’re going to be late, so call or text or tweet or SOMETHING to let people know…in advance!)  Difference makers respect other peoples’ time, and they understand the positive effect of living up to expectations.

Ms. Shellenberger cites the “domino effect” of a late-starting meeting wrecking the calendar of every participant for the rest of the day, and with the frustration, bad mood and lost concentration cited elsewhere, it seems safe to assume the negative impact carries a similar domino effect.

So, what to do?  Look, I hate policies and rules — a lot — but here are a few thought-starters.

♦  Start on time.  End on time.  Have an agenda, an outcome and a “flow” in mind, and state it overtly.

♦  Have a rule.  If the meeting doesn’t start on time, you’re not required to stay.

♦  Have another rule.  Anyone can leave at the prescribed ending time, even if the meeting ain’t ending.

♦  Do NOT “bring up to speed” people that arrive late.  If they missed a key piece of the meeting, it’s their fault.

♦  Don’t reward people’s lateness by “waiting for them.”  They want us to think their time is more valuable than ours.  It isn’t.  Don’t reward that!

♦  Hold yourself  (and others) accountable, in private at first, then publicly if necessary.  (“Jim, your colleagues think you’re constant late arrival means that you don’t value their time…”)

The financial ramifications of honoring people’s time are easy to calculate.  The emotional ramifications aren’t as easy to put a number to, but they’re even easier to feel.

The take away?  Be the heck on time.  You’ll be respected.  You’ll be a leader, regardless of your title.  You’ll make a difference.