“I don’t have a girlfriend.  But I do know a woman who would be mad at me for saying that.”

     –     Mitch Hedberg (1968 – 2005), iconic American stand-up comedian

Sorry.  I just couldn’t resist.  It is the weekend, after all…

“I don’t own a cell phone or a pager.  I just hang around everyone I know, all the time.  If someone wants to get ahold of me, they just say, “Mitch,” and I say, “What?” and turn my head slightly.”

     –     Mitch Hedberg (1968 – 2005), American iconic stand-up comedian

A final Mitch Hedberg tribute for this week — and a wish for a weekend filled hanging around with people you know, all the time!

When it comes to impact, it’s important to remember that proximity does not equal presence, though.  There are times that just being there counts, helps and supports.  More often than not, though, really being there makes a difference.

A throwback to a gifted comic, and to a simpler time, when it was easier to make a difference, and easier to tell whether we had.

“Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven.”

     –     Tyron Edwards, American Theologian (1809 – 1894)

Thursday was an interesting day.

First, the Middle of The Three, 6’2″ at age 13 and a pretty danged salty basketball player, broke his humerus playing pick-up hoops at lunch.  Second time in three years that a broken bone ends the “happy time” for him — basketball season.

Second, I met someone (through a mutual friend) who reminded me of everything that “could be,” if we just stay focused on what matters — and a new friendship, and perhaps a business relationship, were born.

Finally, over burgers and a beverage, I got to talk business, Faith and friendship with a former colleague who is becoming a friend, as well as a dear friend who is also a former colleague.

Comings and goings, ebbs and flows.  Good times and bad times, pain and pleasure, joy and sorrow.  Every day gives us some of some of some parts and some of the other parts.

Still, every day is a gift.  Watching The Middle settle in for what is hopefully a comfortable night of sleep in a sling — it’s clear that the boy does not equal the basketball season, and a parents’ love for a child comes into sharper focus.  As long as he heals and feels better soon, triple doubles don’t matter, at all.  Reflecting on the new connection is a reminder that some of the best is yet to come.  And a reunion with good people from days past is a reminder that our blessings are more numerous and longer lasting than we often realize.

A fracture, a union and a reunion.  Thursday was an interesting day.

“I like rice.  Rice is great if you’re hungry and want 2000 of something.”

     –  Mitch Hedberg (1968 – 2005), iconic American stand-up comic

“If only I had more responsibility,” says the young executive.

“If only I had more people like Sue,” said the manager.

“If we offer this price, we’ll garner more market share,” says the sales leader.

“I’m going to need you all to work more hours until this product is out the door,” says the developer manager.

But what if the responsibility comes at the expense of balance?  What if the “cloning” of Sue reduces the diversity of ideas within the team?  What if the reduced price gives long-term customers incentive to explore the market?  And what if the midnight oil adversely affects quality, morale or both?

It seems like too often, we’re hungry for 2000 of something until the plate is set before us.  Then we often realize that more does not always equal better.

One exception:  When we suspend unproductive activities (for example, meetings that don’t decide, change or advance anything) and replace that time with more time to think we set ourselves up to make a difference.

No, more does not always equal better.  But more time with a clear mind, focused on important things might.

“I like to play blackjack.  I’m not addicted to gambling, I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.”

     –     Mitch Hedberg (1968 – 2005), iconic American stand-up comic

Sort of a Mitch Hedberg theme this week…  Mainly because I love how he spun common perspectives to make them thought provoking.

Excuses are the scourge of — well, let’s just say that excuses are a scourge.

“I’m not addicted to work, I just have a LOT of responsibility.”  “I know I shouldn’t work 75 hours, but there are a lot of people looking to me for the example.”  “I know I missed the choir concert, but we have a Board meeting tomorrow, and I needed to get ready…”

Prioritization.

It’s the only cure for Workaholism.  What it does is give us perspective on why that 65th through 81st hour not only aren’t helping the business, they’re hurting our lives outside the office.  Prioritization helps us make decisions, and get down to the one Essential thing, now.  Then the next one.  And so on.

Another reminder to recommend Greg McKeown’s book, Essentialism.

Maybe our most difference making step will be making the killing of excuses our first priority.

“I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.”

     –     Mitch Hedberg (1968 – 2005), iconic American stand-up comic

I sure do miss Mitch.  And we often “miss” when it comes to the channel we choose.

Yes, this is another e-mail rant…

If conflict, persuasion, influence or favor are sought — voice-to-voice, face-to-face is still the best channel.  If data is being shared or answers to straightforward questions, then e-mail serves a purpose.

(It’s also a dandy way to deliver a blog, of course…)

I’m against e-mail.  And I do know how to show it.  Show up.  Dial up.  Man up.  Interact interpersonally!

“Cold dark lonesome, dead of night
Things gone so wrong, can’t get right
In the darkness, hear the sound
Of a world that’s upside down”

–     Lyric from “Higher Than The Wall” by The SteelDrivers

One night each week…usually Thursday after She and The Three are sound asleep, I burn a little midnight oil, and I read.

A couple weeks ago, I went to my clippings file and read three articles, one in The Harvard Business Review, about how CEO’s should value human resources (the “CHRO”) more, how the Head of HR is the most under-appreciated executive in many companies and how that CEO – CHRO relationship was sacrosanct.  Then, I read two articles, one in The Harvard Business Review and one in a marketing newsletter , about how CEO’s should value marketing more, and how the CMO is the most under-appreciated executive in many companies.  The relationship, it suggested, between CEO and CMO, is sacrosanct.

This idea that we have to have “C’s” in every title, function or department is kind of alarming.  And this idea that one relationship is more sacrosanct than another is ludicrous.

(By the way, a quick check of WordPress stats tells me that no other blogger has ever used the word “sacrosanct” three times in the first three paragraphs of a blog.  I feel special….but I digress…)

So, you may be thinking, “Hey, Heston, you big dope, what the heck is the connection between this rant and the SteelDrivers lyric?”

Let me try to connect the dots…

It’s been said “it’s lonely at the top.”  (Insert one of the other 11,226 cliches here…).  When things have “gone so wrong they can’t get right,” leaders worthy of their checks will “hear the sound of a world that’s upside down,” and they’ll stop trying to prioritize one function over another.

If product sucks and sales rocks, guess what?  You ultimately follow product’s lead.  If product rocks and sales sucks, that’s a faster path to the same destination.  If finance has no clue and marketing makes no mistakes, the disconnect will turn you upside down, fast!  If finance is calling all the shots, and marketing is on the outside looking in, well, we’re back to “gone so wrong things can’t get right…”

Is marketing critical?  Yup.  Is human resources critical?  You bet.  The idea that we can ever focus on one at the expense of the other is what gets us in to those “dead of nights.”  What blinds us, keeps us from seeing, is when we focus on something out of context, at the expense of some other important thing, person or outcome.

If we’re leading, our job is to have the right people.  Doing the right thing.  In the right place.  At the right time.

Try THAT without HR, Marketing, Finance, Sales, Product, Admin, Ops or Development.

“We should not fret for what is past, nor should we be anxious about the future; men of discernment deal only with the present moment.”

–     Chanakya, Indian philosopher, b. 370 BC

Sunday, the sermon at our church cited a study that finds “the anxiety level of the average college student today is the same as the average mental patient in the 1950’s.”  It’s easy to understand.

We live in a time of unprecedented wealth and convenience.  Many of you are reading this on a hand held device that is more powerful than the computers NASA used to get us to the moon.  We are one click or tap away from whatever our mind can conceive, yet we’re producing a crop of kids that are more anxious than mental patients just two generations ago.

What gives?  Why is this anxiety epidemic taking place in times that are more like the Jetsons than the Jeffersons, “pre-movin’ on up?”

As important, what can we do about it?

1.  Get off the phone!  Stop texting, streaming, searching and posting and interact!  Make a list of five people that create positive feelings for you, and spend time, face-to-face with them in the next two weeks.  Measure your feelings going in to and out of each of the conversations.  Write them down.  Figure out a way to engage, to be real with the people that matter most to you.
2. Connect with something bigger.  In Tommy Nelson’s book A Life Well Lived, he asks, “What impact does it have on us when we realize that all meaning must come from outside ourselves?”  It does, you know?  All meaning comes from something bigger than we are.  Prioritizing that connection casts anxiety to the curb, and empowers all the positive energy in us to make a difference for those around us.
3. Be here, now.  Remember the old Heinz ketchup commercial set to the Carly Simon song, “Anticipation?”  Well, there’s too much anticipation in play today, and all it does is make us anxious.  It seems like all society wants us to do is to worry about tomorrow.  Global warming!  Fracking!  Immigration!  Poverty!  ISIS!  The disastrous effects of (fill in the politician of your choosing here)!  Worse is time spent on things in the past.  The biggest mistake I ever made was not inviting my dad to my bachelor party, because I didnt think he’d want to go, and that he’d feel pressured to.  Dumb.  Move.  But also one that is almost 20 years in the past, 13 of which have been without Dad.  I can’t fix it.  I can’t change it.  I can only learn from it.  So, what does it mean to be here, now?  Frank Laubach’s book, Letters By A Modern Mystic, suggests that we ask, without ceasing, “Father, what do you desire said / done this minute?”

I’m not suggesting that we should be disconnected, evangelical hippies.  (Wait, that actually sounded pretty good….but I digress…).  Rather, if we replace a small part of the time spent worrying with face-time with difference makers, quiet time with God and an awareness that those closest to us need us here, now — I bet we’ll reduce 80% of our anxiety — and that’s a pretty good outcome.

“You can blast your way through mud, but you can’t blast your way out of mud.  You have to ease your way out of mud, or you have to get pulled out.”

–               Dick Heston, upon seeing that I had virtually buried our Massey Ferguson 165 up to the axles in the Springtime mud, circa 1974

Having grown up (to whatever degree I actually did) on a farm, this time of year my thoughts turn to Spring.  The harvest is in, Thanksgiving is upon us and it’s a good time to look ahead.  Spring and Autumn are the two times of year that I really miss the farm…the smell of diesel exhaust and freshly turned dirt that conjures up all the hope and faith that goes in to farming as a livelihood…and the times that I most closely find myself relating my experiences growing up to what we do today.

Dad’s point was that if you see mud ahead, and think you can get through it, then “floor it” and blast your way through, using momentum, not horsepower to drive the progress.  If you didn’t see it, however, of if you under-estimated how deep it was, and you find yourself in “over your head” (or, up to the axles…), the throttle is not your friend.  The clutch, and “feel” are your only hopes, short of a log chain and another tractor that has enough dry ground to pull you out.

In times of frustration and slow progress, the temptation is to “floor it,” and try to blast our way through.  Not so fast, my friend!  Dad was right.  If we’re in some mud already, our ability to ease our way through will require a deft touch on the throttle, a clear understanding of our horsepower, and occasionally knowing who, on both our side of the team and the client’s, have the log chains and solid footing to give us a pull.

Key point, though.  If we’re stuck, we’re gonna need help getting unstuck, and pride can get in the way of asking for that help.  Granted, it’s easier to tell when you’re stuck on a tractor, but the ability to know in life and in business will make a difference for us.

“I’m sick of following my dreams.  I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later.”

     –     Mitch Hedberg (1968 – 2005), iconic American stand-up comedian

Many would have us believe that plans are concrete and that dreams are “fluff.”  The description “Dreamer” is not typically applied with positive intent — all the way back to Joseph in Genesis.

As Lee Corso might say, “Not so fast, my friend!”  Joseph ended up pretty much nailing it.  Steve Jobs, too.  Bill Gates, Henry Ford, Franklin / Jefferson / Adams, et al…  Dreamers that made a difference.

Dreams — especially when we dare to dream them out loud — are things worth planning for.  Dreams provide the pictures and soundtrack to the rationale and reason that so many professors, bosses and parents want to think are more worthy of pursuit.  Dreams are where ideas are born, and ideas are the currency of Difference Makers.

Mitch Hedberg is one of my all-time favorite comedians, one of many of his era that passed way too soon due to lifestyle decisions that tend to claim young comedians.  He “hooked up” with one of his dreams — to be a top billed performer — but left his other dreams waiting for a hook-up that will never come.  Let’s don’t repeat that mistake.

Whether we follow, pursue or “hook-up” with our dreams, they’re worth dreaming.  They’re worth sharing.  They’re worth planning for and they’re worth celebrating when they come true — and all along the way, as well.