“If it’s the ultimate game, how come they’re playing it again next year?”

–     Duane Thomas, Dallas Cowboys, before one of the early Super Bowls

So, today is the day.  Whether we’re among the relative few that actually care about either the Baltimore Ravens or the San Francisco 49ers, we’ll gather around our chips and dips and beverages and sandwiches and wings — and watch “The Big Game.”

It’s sad that the NFL is worried more about protecting a trademark than it is protecting its players, but that’s a whole other post, right?

We Americans love a reason to get together.  And, this afternoon and early evening has turned in to the ultimate reason to gather socially.

It’s also interesting that the commercials have become part of the event.  Marketers everywhere rally around the last bastion of “Mass Marketing,” that has any chance of earning some share of mind.  Consumers everywhere rally around their need to be entertained by brands, where as our predecessors were more focused on the outcomes that came from transacting with a brand.

So, we can’t call it by it’s real name, lest the trademark cops rain down on us.  And it’s not really the “Ultimate Game” because they will, in fact, play it again next year.  But, does the game — the event — the “buzz” — make a difference?

Wherever two or more of us are gathered…

Gather.  Have fun.  Laugh.  Smile.  Relax.  Enjoy.  Be safe.

Let togetherness make a difference for a few hours.

PS  With apologies for yesterday’s DD disappearance — technology….whodda thunk it?  Starting tomorrow, a series on “change.”

“Pretentiousness repels but authenticity attracts, and vulnerability is the pathway to intimacy.”

–      Rick Warren, in his book, The Purpose Driven Life

What we are able to accomplish ultimately comes down to how closely we can bond with others. Not buying it? Name one thing of significance that happens with only one person involved…

We spend our school years trying to get “book smart.” We spend our young adult years trying to get “street smart.” We spend our careers trying to become invincible.

A while back, I joined my bride in watching an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. One scene showed a doctor deriding a resident for taking a risk in the operating room – a risk that turned out to be life-saving for the patient. Later, when she was “apologizing” to another of the attending physicians, the point came out that the big-shot, high-powered surgeons “keep the residents around because they keep us fresh.”

With clients, with peers, with bosses or boss’s bosses, it behooves us to remember that we’re not perfect, nor are they. Key is, when we’re able to be vulnerable – and to help them be vulnerable, the intimacy that results breeds authenticity.

In a week that the D² focuses on being “real,” let’s zero-in on where vulnerability intersects with opportunity to improve. That’s where the magic happens.  That’s where difference making occurs.

“Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.”

–     from the book of James, New Testament (1:22)

One of the greatest honors I’ve had in 15 years here in The ‘Burg is to support Andy, our Middle School Youth Pastor (and his wife, Melissa) at our church during Wednesday night Youth time.

Last night, without any pre-coordination, I watched him hold a group of about thirty-five 6th-8th graders in the palm of his hand as he talked about the importance of leading a consistent life.  It was as if he’d decided to pile on a DD series on being real.  Except he didn’t.  I’m not even sure he knows about the Daily Difference.

He does, however, know how to make one.  By living a consistent life.  By being real.  By being real consistent.

Andy and Melissa Juvinall are difference makers.  We can be, too, when we choose to be consistently real.

“Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.”

–      Abraham Lincoln

Sometimes the old cartoons – The Pink Panther comes to mind – had great fun with a shadow that didn’t “behave.”

It was funny in the cartoons.

Not so much in business or in life.

When we see authenticity – in each other, in clients, in friends, spouses, kids, etc – let’s call it out. Let’s reward it with compliments and bathe it in positive feedback. Let’s thank people for being real, and let’s reciprocate by being real.

In order to make a difference, let’s be the trees. And, let’s choose to stand among the best of our kind in the forest in which we’re planted.

Let’s be the real thing.

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”

–      John Wooden, legendary basketball coach and shaper of young men’s characters

Does it matter what other people think? Sure, I guess so. I care what Jodi thinks and what The Three Who Will Not Be Tamed think. I care what the guys in my Men’s Group think, and what my sister thinks. I care what those closest to me think, but they also know that I’m gonna pretty much be who I am.

When it comes down to being liked or respected, sometimes we have to choose, and when we do, the people that matter most will, more often than not, choose to rely on the people they respect the most, unless they’re just completely unlikeable.

My dear friend Kyle Ratliff often reminds me, “Heston,” he’ll say, “people buy from people they know, like and trust.” I don’t think he’s completely right — I think presence matters, too — and I know he’s not at all wrong. In fact, we see it day in and day out with our clients, our friends, and the people we serve with — at church, on the Parent’s Committee, youth sports — you name it. The more time we spend face-to-face with them, deepening relationships and building trust, the shorter the sales cycles, the better the deals, the deeper the connections — for all concerned.

I guarantee you, though, that if you could force your customers to choose one of the three – know, like or trust – they’d choose “trust.”

And trust is built from presence, and from consistency of character – a track record of “being real.” A track record of authentic engagement.

The stuff that makes a difference…

“Authenticity is the alignment of head, mouth, heart and feet – thinking, saying, feeling and doing the same thing – consistently. This builds trust, and followers love leaders they can trust.”

–      Lance Secretan, (b. 1939) leadership authority and former Managing Director of Manpower, Inc. in the UK

I was wrong.

I am sorry.

Here’s what I learned.

Those three statements in that order are pretty powerful.

Notice the absence of the word “but.”

“I was wrong, but…” “I am sorry, but…” “Here’s what I learned, but…”

The word “but” contradicts the statement. It just does. If there’s a “but” we don’t really mean the words that preceded it…

When we’re real, it’s ok to be wrong. It’s ok to be sorry. And, whether we’re real or not, we’d dang sure better be learning along the way.

When we’re not being real, we’re averting blame, or worse yet, blaming. When we’re not being real, we’re the victim, not a participant in the relationship. When we’re not being real, our “buts” get in the way.

When we’re real, we’re using the missteps to get closer to the outcomes we all seek together. When we’re real, we are comfortable admitting to others when we screw up, and we’re adamant that it become a foundation for getting it more better (“more better” is a technical term…) the next time around. And, before we can admit to someone else that we were wrong, we need to be comfortable admitting it to ourselves.

I bet that will make a difference.

“Wag more.  Bark less.”

–     A bumper sticker in Grafton, WI

Thursday night as we boarded our flight to leave Austin, TX, a very stressed out business traveler was berating the gate staff, the flight attendants, the pilots and three other passengers because his earlier flight had been cancelled due to a mechanical problem and he “wasn’t going to get home until midnight.”

My thoughts.

A)  She didn’t break the danged plane, dude.  Hush yo’ mouth.  Stop yo’ barkin’!

B)  It’s no one else’s fault that you brought a bag as big as Texas onto the plane only to find out it wouldn’t fit in the overhead.  THERE’s a shocker, huh?  The bag that would be a tight fit in the trunk of your car won’t fit in to a bin that was designed to hold a briefcase.  Whodda thunk it?!  You’re right, they should have told you that — oh, wait, they did, and you started barking…

C)  You look as if this might not be your first rodeo.  After somewhere north of 2 million miles, I’ve figured out that sometimes the planes don’t leave or arrive on time.  Sometimes it snows like a b_____ in Chicago or Denver, and you get disrupted.  Sometimes the crew is over hours and sometimes the beverage cart runs out of decent whiskey.  And, barking, no matter how tempting it can be, HAS — NEVER — HELPED.

D)  Wag more.  Bark less.

I got home at 10:37, thankful for a safe flight, and for the four people sleeping soundly as I entered the house, ready for some zzzzzzz’s myself.

“Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter.  In love to our wives, there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something for which there are no words to express.”

–     Joseph Addison, English Poet and Statesman (1672-1719)

“So I will dance with Cinderella…”

–     Lyric from “Cinderella” by Stephen Curtis Chapman

Last night was my sixth “Father / Daughter Dance” at Westlawn Elementary School.  Four with The Eldest of The Three, two with The Youngest.

All too soon, the clock will strike midnight…

I just hope the memories never fade.

“Just about everyone started out in an entry-level job.  I did, and I bet you did.  My first job was as a dishwasher in a restaurant for $2.10 an hour.  It wasn’t a great job, but it was a great first job.”

–     Bill Simon, President and CEO, Walmart U.S., quoted in January 21-27, 2013 Bloomberg Businessweek

Not counting the work on the farm, my first job was at Terry Bonnet’s DX service station in Fairfield, IA.  I am pretty sure it paid $1.65 an hour.  It wasn’t a great job, either, but it was a great first job.

Recently, a guy I know told his boss he needed to “make more money.”  I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.  Only the US Treasury can “make” money (and Lord knows they’ve been printing a lot of it for a couple years now, but I digress…).  What if we thought in terms of how much money we can earn instead?

The connection between work performed and wages paid is getting weaker and weaker, and it contributes to the broader challenges businesses are facing.  Let’s make a difference by making sure we’re “earning” what we’re “making.”

It’s a subtle shift, but it’s also more than simple semantics.

“The world will know that free men stood against a tyrant, that few stood against many, and before this battle was over, even a god-king can bleed.”

–     King Leonidas, in the graphic movie “300,” the story of the Spartan’s battle with Persian King Xerxes’ armies

Today, I am with a compelling group of professionals who have modeled their business and aligned their passion, intelligence and effort along the lines of the Spartans — to rally an industry against the oppressive forces of government unchecked and competitors with exponentially greater capital and workforce “advantages.”

These people understand that the fight, if noble, matters more than the outcome.  But that’s not to say the outcome isn’t important to them.  The outcome matters greatly to this team of people, and as such, the outcome is within their grasp.

In the movie’s final scene, Stelios says to King Leonidas, “It’s an honor to die at your side.”  The King replies, “It’s an honor to have lived at yours.”  This compelling group of professionals doesn’t intend to die in the final scene.  They intend to — and will — live.  They’ll win.  Not every time they take to the fight, but much more often than they lose, they will win.  Why?  They’ve shown time and again that they’re willing to leave everything on the field when the fight is over.  It is an honor to join the fight with them.

Are there stories we care that much about?  Are there fights worth fighting?  Are there dreams worth making real?

Perhaps more importantly, are there distractions keeping us from those stories, fights and dreams?  How much of a difference will it make when we eliminate those distractions?  Will the world know we were here when we take to the fight?