“I had to face up to the fact that the only reason my life was out of balance was that I had let it get that way.”

     –     Robbie Bach, a 25-year, high ranking veteran of Microsoft

Control is an illusion.  Balance is a decision.

Most imbalance  — work / life or otherwise categorized —  begins with a decision we make, or don’t make.  (And, as Geddy Lee famously reminded us, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”)

“Too busy.”  That’s a decision.

“Too tired.”  Yep.  That, too.  (Unless it’s not fixed by diet, exercise and rest — then, see a doc!)

“Too _______.”  If “too” applies, science indicates that there is an 86.3% chance it’s a decision we made or didn’t make that led to the situation.  (I just totally made up that statistic, but I’m pretty danged sure, based on life experience, that it’s close….)

I wonder how much of our imbalance comes from our attempt to control, and how much control we’d feel like we gained if we decided to balance the scale out and just be.

“When you measure the wrong thing, you get the wrong thing.  Perhaps you can be precise in your measurement, but precision does not equal significance.”

–     Seth Godin, in an April, 2016 post on his blog

Wells Fargo thought accounts-per-customer was the right thing to measure.  Right up until it wasn’t.  Borders and Blockbuster thought that number of books / videos sold was the right thing to measure.  Remember Borders and Blockbuster?  Yeah, me neither.

Seth Godin makes me better.  He does the same thing for anyone that reads his stuff, meets him or even considers one of his positions.  And this matter — measuring the right things, seeking significance over “success” — is where he most often catches my attention.

To drive the point home, there was a time in our history, Seth points out, that military leaders defined “success” based on body count.  Sigh…

Now, look, I’m one of the biggest George Patton fans there is, and Patton famously said, “No (one) ever won a war by dying for his country; you win wars by making the other (guy) die for his country.”  If that’s your only choice, I reckon it’s still true.  But Patton also famously said, “A good plan, ruthlessly executed today is better than a perfect plan two weeks from now.”

How much time do we invest deciding what we’re gonna measure?  How we define significance or success?   How much time do we invest in the stuff that comes before the “end,” as opposed to striving, reaching and sweating over an end.

If all we’re going to measure is the final score, we might have a good season.  We might win more games than last year.  But if all we’re going to measure is the final score, we’re going to be Wells Fargo, Blockbuster and Borders when the game changes — and I don’t like the sound of any of that.  If all we’re going to measure is the final score, it’s going to be a lot more difficult to make a difference.

PS  With apologies, I woke up Friday realizing that I either needed to get back to this blog, or change the name to “The Sporadic Difference.”  I decided to start writing again….  Thanks for your patience….

“No matter what happens, remember, fly the airplane.”

–     Flight instructor to 16-year old Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger, III

The movie “Sully” opened on September 9, and Wednesday night Mrs. H and I, along with the younger two of The Three saw the film.  It’s really good.

It’s good because Tom Hanks is the star.  It’s good because the story is compelling.  It’s good because it tells us “the rest of the story.”  And it’s also good because of the lessons it teaches us about the value of practice, preparation, remaining calm and — most importantly — trusting our well-developed instincts.

When Sullenberger (captain of US Airways Flight #1549, which he landed safely in the Hudson River after losing both engines after striking a flock of geese — which is not like losing all sense of musical integrity to 1980’s band “A Flock of Seagulls” — but I digress…) was 16, he took his first flying lesson, and at about the time he began solo flight, his instructor told him, “No matter what happens, remember, fly the airplane.”  There are 154 people (plus Captain “Sully”) who lived on that January morning 7 1/2 years ago because even when something unprecedented happened, Sully flew the airplane.

Deals jump the rails.  Co-workers disappoint us.  Bosses give flawed or incomplete instruction.  Clients are late to meetings, miss them completely, or cancel them at the last minute.  In exactly none of those scenarios do 155 lives hang in the balance.  In exactly all of those scenarios are we called upon to metaphorically “fly the airplane.”

Calm, measured, well-planed and instinctively — we have to fly on.  It will make a difference, every time.

“You’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.  You’ve got to be your own man, not a puppet on a string.  Never compromise what’s right, and uphold your family name.  You’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.”

–     Lyric from Aaron Tippin’s 1990 single, “You’ve Got To Stand For Something”

“I’m for love and I’m for happiness.  I’m for “if you don’t like can’t you just let is pass?”  And I’m for turnin’ off the tube and turning down the lights…”

–     Lyric from Hank Williams, Jr’s 1985 single, “I’m For Love”

To continue the Hank-track, I woke up today in a “Country State of Mind.”

But not a country music state of mind, rather a USA, one nation under God, freedom first, Democratic Republic state of mind.

It started when I opened up my Wall Street Journal.  A headline “…Who Is Inspired to Vote?” caught my eye, and led me to the Journal’s research that says that as many as 20% of registered voters are as likely to vote against, rather than for one of the candidates in this year’s Presidential election.

I get it.  I might be one of them.

And that makes me sad.

How often do we do it at work?  Hope someone fails, instead of helping them succeed?  Complain without suggesting a better way forward? (Cue the decidedly un-Country Ben Harper lyric here…)

How often do we do it at home?  Passive vs. participative.  Tearing down vs. building up?

We’ve got to stand for something.  And I’m for making a difference.  Positively.  Let’s hold each other to that standard.

“If all I have taught you is how to block and tackle, then I have failed as a coach.”

–     Ed Thomas (1950 – 2009), legendary high school football coach at Aplington – Parkersburg in Iowa.  Thomas produced five NFL players from his tiny school

The contrasts are always easy to see.

Texas and Iowa high school football.

Contrasts:  14,000 seat stadiums vs. 2,000 seat stadiums.  120 kids dressed vs. 60 kids dressed.  45 minute, 2-band half-time shows vs. 15 minute, 1-band halftime shows.  90-degree kick-off temperatures vs. 69-degree kick off temperatures.  Turf everywhere vs. Mud most places.

Similarities:  Kids playing their hearts out for pride of school and sheer enjoyment of the game.  Some parents desperately trying to re-live their glory days through their kids’ careers.  Most parents simply loving watching their kids play their heart out for pride of school and sheer enjoyment of the game.

Fans in both places will say their approach is better.  They’ll both be right.  It’s better than what’s on the news.  It’s better than what’s around the water cooler.  It’s better than the drama, wherever the drama originates.  It’s better because of the similarities and in spite of the contrasts.

Particularly this election year, but most any time, we’re constantly reminded of the contrasts.  But it’s the similarities that bind us together.  On Friday nights?  Yes.  And particularly in this election year.  May those similarities be as easy to find as those apparent under Friday Night Lights all over the USA.

“If we played ’em ten times, they might win nine.  But not this game.  Not tonight.  Tonight we skate with them.  We stay with them.  And we shut them down because we can.  Tonight, we’re the greatest hockey team in the world.”

–     Herb Brooks (1937 – 2003), coach of the 1980 United States Hockey team before they played the USSR in the Olympic semi-final in Lake Placid, NY

In many industries or professions (most, perhaps?), there are one or two — maybe three behemoth market leaders.  Across the board, whether B2C, B2B, B2B2C, you name it.  Almost every market has a very small set of companies that dominate.  And the market suffers.  The customers suffer.  The only way to grow a giant, publicly-traded company is to provide less for more.  And, if that giant, publicly-traded oligopoly or company happens to serve a shrinking market — they become predatory.  It’s called survival.

The 1980 Soviet hockey team was like that.  A machine.  Void of personality.  Ruthlessly efficient.  Alarmingly effective.  Unless someone changed the game.  Until one team decided to skate with them.  Stay with them.  Shut them down.  For one night.  For one game.

As Ries and Trout taught us all those years ago, only the leader can be the leader.  But the leader is not the only one in the competition that can survive.

This week, I shared a meeting room and a few meals with an exceptional group of people who can skate with anyone, one game at a time.  The good news is, we can only play one game at a time.

As for those people around that table?  It is an honor to “skate” with them.

“Maybe my best isn’t as good as someone else’s, but for a lot of people, my best is enough.  Most importantly, for me it’s enough.”

–     Lindsey Stirling, “The Only Pirate at the Party”

Good enough is not the enemy of great.  If we’re not careful, great can become the enemy of good enough.

Blasphemy?  Prolly not…

Perfection, like control, is an illusion.  In fact, perfection may be more damaging.  Think about it — there hasn’t been anyone perfect for about 2046 years, and 68% of the people on the planet don’t even believe in Him.

We have to measure ourselves against our goals, and it’s also incumbent upon us to make sure we have a voice in setting them, too.  Beyond that, comparing ourselves to others probably doesn’t pay dividends.  At all.

If there is someone we want to emulate, let’s ask them to mentor us.  If there is a skill we want to learn, let’s research and pursue the best means of learning that skill.

But if we want to be taller, it doesn’t matter.  If we want to be younger, that’s going to be a stretch.  If we want to be someone other than who we are, we’re going to fail — probably.  Instead, let’s focus on being the best us that we can be.  Our best is enough.  And, when it comes to career considerations, if it’s not, there is someplace that it will be.  And that’s where we need to be.

Disclaimer #1:  “Good enough” has to be agreed upon.  If my “good enough” is different than my boss’s “good enough,” that’s probably not good enough.  If my “good enough” is different than my team’s “good enough,” over time, that won’t be good enough.

Disclaimer #2:  I am NOT suggesting that anyone just change employers willy-nilly-like.  There is, however, an opportunity to be the catalyst to create a culture where “good enough” really is “good enough,” and that will make a difference.

“It’s not hard to know the right thing to do, but sometimes it’s hard to do it.”

–     Dick Heston (1933 – 2002)

My best man in our wedding was a professional umpire for awhile.  He always contended that the hard calls were easiest, because it was instinctive.  The closer the play, the more you trusted what you were feeling.  It’s the slow developing play, where it can be tempting to anticipate that an umpire can get caught off guard.

In business, it can work similarly.

When we’re over-thinking something, it’s usually in a violent struggle with our instincts.  We know what to do — but pulling the trigger is a….well, it can be really difficult.

When we’re seeking to understand why we’re thinking what we’re thinking, why we’re feeling what we’re feeling and why we’re doing what we’re doing — we align the instinctive power within us with the decisions upon which we have to act.

Instinct.  Reason.  Action.  Now that’s an IRA with predictable results.

“The maxim “Nothing but perfection” may be spelled P-A-R-A-L-Y-S-I-S.”

–     Winston Churchill

It’s about the outcome, dang it!

Process brings order and order brings measurement and measurement informs coaching, growth, improvement.

Unless it doesn’t.

Process brings order up to a point.  Beyond that point, it brings paralysis.  It becomes something we hide behind.  A crutch.  An excuse.

So, how do we protect against process paralysis?

We act.  We draw lines.  We make decisions and we trust our instincts, up to a point.

Beyond that point, our instincts can make us reckless, undisciplined, unaware and ineffective.

Sounds like a balancing act, doesn’t it?  It’s more like a pendulum.  Most companies see the pendulum swing from one end to the other.  Paralysis to recklessness.  The key for teams that want to make a difference is (surprise!) to ask “Why?”  Asking “Why?” allows us to freeze the pendulum at the most effective point.  (The Heston Group believes that point is about 4-degrees to the process side of balanced.)

Why do we have this process?  Why was it originally put in place?  Why haven’t we updated it lately?  Why do people resist it?  Why do people hide behind it?  Why does it work?  Why don’t we see if we can improve it?

Why are my instincts screaming at me on this matter?  Why am I resisting the discipline I know gets me further along the path and honoring an impulsive instinct to veer off in my own direction?  Why do the process people not trust me?  Why do I not trust them?

When we know “Why?” we know what we need to know.  Everything starts from “Why?”  And, when it starts there, it goes to a good, happy place.

“We win because we play together as a team.”

–     John Havlicek, (b. 1940), legendary NBA player known for his effort and his commitment to the team

It would be very difficult to argue that John Havlicek isn’t one of the three or four best teammates in sports history.  His Boston Celtics team won eight NBA world championships including four in a row to begin his career.  No other player in history has gone 8-0 in NBA Finals.  And he did it with an ever-changing cast of teammates.  They won, he points out, because they played together — as a team.

So, what makes a great teammate on a championship team?

Selflessness.  Sacrifice.  Devotion.  Combine those three with effort, commitment, savvy and talent and any player becomes a great teammate, and likely a champion, too — regardless of who’s on the team.  Regardless of who’s coaching the team.

In a career, we’re lucky to be around a handful of great teammates.  I spent the day with one on Tuesday.

The best we can do is look forward, see the contest unfolding and put ourselves in the best position to win.

It makes a difference.