“Leadership is like investing.  It compounds.”

–     John C. Maxwell in “The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership:  Follow Them And People Will Follow You“

An abbreviated Maxwell Friday to catch up.  I may have mentioned it’s a really good book.  It ain’t perfect (see Tuesday), but it will help you #getbettereveryday!

Leaders are learners.  It’s one of Maxwell’s primary beliefs and it’s true as all get out.

In the Law of Process, he walks readers through the progression:  As leaders we move from not knowing what we don’t know to knowing that we need to know.  That’s self-awareness and servant-leadership in my mind.  If we commit to learning and improving, day-over-day, we move to the phase where we know that we need to know and then to knowing what it is we need to learn.  Continuing the commitment starts us on what Maxwell refers to as a continuum of “Know and Grow and it starts to Show!”

Those are critical steps to pack before we embark on The Law of Navigation.  Leaders, Maxwell teaches, see the trip ahead, examine conditions before committing, listen to the excursion team throughout the trip — and then lead with a balance of faith and fact.

I won’t spoil the book, but his acronym for PLANAHEAD is a wonderful, simplistic guide for leaders to honor these two of the twenty-one laws.

Make it a great weekend!

“Woulda, Shoulda and Coulda walk into a bar…”

–     A mentor of mine, any time someone used some version of “I wish I would have…”

“If only I were younger,” we say, “I would start my own…”

“If only I were better rested,” we say, “I would exercise more…”

“If only I were wealthier,” we say, “I would invest more…”

“If only I were better at expressing myself,” we say, “I would tell her…”

“If only I were skinnier,” we say, “I’d hike the…”

Here’s the deal.  Most of our “if only’s” are in our control.  They’re excuses.  My mentor had a line for those, too.  He said, “Excuses are like…” oh, never mind, you’ve probably heard that one.

Let’s attack our “If only’s” with “I will‘s,” and let’s leave no window of time between them and the start.

If we’re alive, our dreams, by and large, are still alive, too.  If we’re in need of rest, the couch or bedroom are only a few feet away (and rest can come from prayer, meditation, reflection, journaling, too).  If we’re in need of wealth, there’s one spending decision we’re about to make that we can choose not to make.  If we want to express ourselves better, we can start by simply expressing ourselves — and then refine the skill as we grow.  (I bet we’re better at it than we think we are!)  If we need to shave a few pounds off, they sell veggies and lean protein in the same grocery store that they sell Snickers and Cheesy-Poofs.

If only I’d stop if-only-ing, I’d already be…

“We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.”

–     Rick Warren (b. 1954), pastor, author, theologian, from his top-selling book, “A Purpose Driven Life…”

OK, let’s get this out of the way.  I thought yesterday’s post was awful.  Maybe my worst ever.  (No, I’m not going to link to it!)

The concept wasn’t bad, that politics kill organizations, but it was not well-thought-out or well-written.  Was I tired?  Was I distracted?  It doesn’t matter.  I let you, and myself down.  (For any of you that liked yesterday’s post….raise your standards!  Just sayin’…!)

Everything that we have seen, done and heard comprises who we are right now.

Pastor Rick, who arguably has brought more people to Faith than anyone except for a certain Jewish Carpenter, puts the concept of owning it in a clear context.  When we own our mistakes, we learn and grow from them.  When we don’t, when we deny or try to hide them, they end up owning us, and we become prisoners to things that we can’t do anything about.  Yikes!

The phrase “products of our past” means that we’re here, now because of what’s brought us here, now.  As many long-term subscribers have read before, that’s why what we do next is so important.  What we do next is our “get out of jail free card.”  Sort of.

Sort of, because nothing worth having is ever “free.”

“Table stakes” is the amount of money you have to bring to the table to play in a game of poker.  “Cost of doing business,” is a similar term, refined for more of a business application.  That “free undercoating” on the new car? It’s built into the cost of the deal.  That one month “free” at the gym?  It’s an extra 50-cents per day for the rest of the year.  The 72-month, interest-free loan for the car?  Built.  In.  Not free.

And like those examples, the experiences we’ve had, good ones, bad ones, neutral or forgotten — they’re the cost of getting here, now.

And no one is perfect.

Save for the aforementioned Jewish carpenter, perfection is an unrealistic goal, and, in the long run, it is self-defeating, even crushing, perhaps.  Perfectionism becomes a prison.

Our disappointments in life are rarely tied to our circumstances.  Instead, they are almost certainly tied to our expectations.  And if we expect to never make a mistake, we’re prisoners in the purest sense of the word.

A bad post, a missed sale, a job offer declined or not received, a billing error — you get the point — we’re products of all that crap.

We’re not prisoners, even though we might occasionally slip.  In 1969, I was 8-years-old and pitching in a Little League game against a giant of a 10-year-old named Terry Nelson.  I was ahead 0-2 in the count, and I threw another ball right down the middle of the plate.  I heard the crack of the bat.  I never saw the ball, because Nelson hit it about 350 feet, which is a freakin’ mile when you’re ten!  “So, what, Heston?”

Well, here’s what…

Sometimes, even when we think we’ve escaped our bonds and learned from our mistakes, we slip.  In 1982, against the University of Missouri, I was ahead 0-2 on the count against a guy named Phil Bradley.  Phil Bradley played eight years of Major League Baseball.  I did not.  “There is no way Phil Bradley thinks I am going to throw another fastball right down the middle,” I remember thinking.  Turns out, Phil Bradley thought that I just might.  And, of course, I did.  I threw the fastball.  I heard the crack of the bat.  I felt the ball hit me in the right shoulder.  I never saw it.  The first image in my mind (right before the intense pain hit) was, “Holy crap!  Phil Bradley just Terry-Nelsoned me!”

The point of the Daily Difference is to provide context, sometimes a little levity and to make us all think.

I whiffed yesterday, and I own it.  In almost 8,000 posts, Seth Godin has never, to my knowledge, whiffed, and I think I’ve read about 7,800 of them.  Maybe it’s because he didn’t take a year off because some doofus asked him to.  Maybe it’s because he writes every day.  And the next day.  And the next…

What is that one thing we want to perform at the highest level?  Did we practice it today?  Will we practice it tomorrow?  If we simply expect it delivered by Amazon Prime™ we’ll get old and gray sitting on the front step waiting for the UPS truck.  If we want to #getbettereveryday, we’ll pick up the pen or keyboard, step on the treadmill or track, grab the kettlebell or yoga mat — we’ll own it.  The process.  The outcome.  Success.  Failure.

And, people will want to work with us.  Because we own it.

“People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.”

–     Otto Van Bismarck, (1871 – 1890), German statesman who led the unification of Germany in 1871 and for who the German battleship Bismarck was named

Even for me, today’s Daily Diff is a bit of a structural stretch…bear with me, your Honor!

Ever have trouble connecting the DD’s title, quote, and direction?  Good.  The blog started out 15 years ago as the Daily Direction, then through re-branding as the Daily Direcxion and it’s been The Diff for nigh on eight years now, but I digress.

Let me build my case.  It’s an election year, and I started to research how often candidates were lying (both parties candidates), and it turns out it’s only when they speak, or happen to be awake, in total about 76% of the time.  So, I shifted my exhaustive research, and tested it against my father’s often stated theory on life.  “Everyone on earth is stupid,except for me and you” he used to say, pointing an index finger in my direction, “and I’m starting to worry about you!”

That led me to my all-purpose, Presidential Election vision statement:  “If you want the job, you’re not mentally stable enough to have it!”

We could have sworn you recently posted, “no partisan political messages on any social media…”

And, you’re correct, I did.  My point here is that the same reason so many weak leaders are in business might be driving so many whackadoodles into the political arena.

Why has this become true? (And give me a break, if you’re awake and modestly intelligent, it rings true on some level…)  Why are we in the most embarrassing condition in the history of our Republic?*  (By the way, it’s not a Democracy, it’s a Democratic Republic…look it up!)  What is the reason that we’re so dorfed up at work, in Washington and every Tuesday between now and that Tuesday after which nothing will change except the political ads — (wait, that’s worth looking forward to!)?

Lobbying.

Yeah, one side says they’re really bad and has a ton of them, and the other side says they’re really bad and has two tons of them.  How does it work?

“Hello, candidate Unlimited Ego, my name is Lotsa.  Lotsa Rich-Backers.  I’m hyphenated, because my mama was really, really Rich, and that got daddy Lotsa backers, and there you have it, my first name was settled!  There’s no need for you to check with your constituents, or read any of those heavy, fact-based position-papers.  If you’ll co-author and back this here bi-partisan legislation I wrote naming Hooey McPhooey as the official provider of Hooey for America’s organic farms, we’ll invest $100 gazillion in building cell towers in between every house in your home town so your nephew can play Fortnite really, really fast.”

How does it affect me in my job over here at Local Cool Corporation?

If your culture is healthy it doesn’t.  That said, if Local Cool has more than about 20 employees, there is probably some lobbying going on.

Maxwell teaches us that “leadership is influence. Nothing more, nothing less.”  The minute influence becomes for-sale, either via personal intimacy, pork-barrel policy selling, Packers Tickets, dinners at Simon’s, a starting spot for your kid or admission into a great university the whole thing breaks down.

Leadership is influence, and in healthy companies, influence grows from wisdom, experience, listening, execution and servant-hood.

If you’re a leader, how does Local Cool measure up?  If you’re a job-seeker, how attractive will Local Cool be when they “nail it?”

What if you’re still confusing me, Heston?  You’re usually a lot more direct than this, pal…

Lobbying sucks.  It’s the root of commercial problems, governing problems and relationship problems. I know some lobbyists who are spectacular human beings, ethical in their work and compelling transfer-ers of belief.  I’d want every one of them to work for me, or I’d work for them.  They represent, unofficially, 44% of all lobbyists. If we use their powers for good in commerce, politics will matter less and less, and government will be forced to find honest people to serve the country.  If we don’t get a grip on the current state of lobbying, we’ll all be in someone else’s lobby, interviewing for a job that’s probably already been promised to someone in the lobbyists’ family.

Melodramatic?  Maybe.  I’ve seen lots of lobbying in hallways and boardrooms — and I’ve seen companies that discourage it up to and including firing the “meeting-after-the-meeting” lobbying types.  That last group, that’s where people go to work if they want to make a difference.

“Legacy is greater than currency.”

–     Gary Vaynerchuk (b. 1975), Belarusan – American entrepreneur, speaker, author, and media executive

I’ve been thinking a lot about coaching lately, and maybe that’s because the next-to-last high school basketball season for The Tallest of The Three is winding down.

I’ve been thinking a lot about legacies lately, and maybe it’s because Gary O, a buddy of mine, passed away unexpectedly a year ago.

I’ve been thinking a lot about foundations lately, and maybe it’s because I get to host a room full of good people the next couple days guiding them through some significant and compelling change — and I want to make sure they leave with their chalices full.

As sales professionals, coaches and aspiring Difference Makers, we have the opportunity every day to build a strong foundation, be it Faith (ideally), good habits or disciplines.  We have the obligation to live every day as if it were our last because it just might be.

So, how does that translate to whatever we do next?

That’s up to each of us, but here are four thought-starters:

1) Call someone we haven’t talked to in a long time and remind them of the impact they had on us.

2) Forgive someone who betrayed us, because carrying that crap around is a bitch!

3) Thank someone who might not even be aware that we appreciate them, and be specific in telling them why.

4) Be here.  Now.

No mention of currency there, right?  Just calling out, honoring or building a legacy.  Maybe all three…

“Our legacies as coaches are not…how many games or championships we win.  Our legacy…is always going to be measured by how our players talk about us.”

–     Billy Donovan, (b. 1965) basketball coach, University of Florida and NBA’s Oklahoma City Thunder

That sounds sorta like something that might be said by a coach that didn’t win many championships.  In that context, cynics might hear it as an excuse.

Let’s put that thought to rest, shall we?  Billy Donovan has won a lot of games, and plenty of championships — including back-to-back NCAA Championships at Florida.  This past weekend, the University of Florida named its basketball court after Coach Donovan.  More than a dozen former players, several of them head coaches in their own right, made the trip to be there with their mentor on the most special day of his career.  The presence of those players meant more to Donovan than his name painted on the floor of The O’Connell Center.

Why were so many of his protegees in attendance?

It’s about the process and the growth of the players during their time with the coach.

Simon Sinek covers it well in his 2019 book The Infinite Game.  If our first concern is for the scoreboard and the short-term outcome, we’re playing a finite game.  For Donovan and people in his line of work, that would mean success was measured 40 or 48-minutes at a time.  For corporate types, it’s a quarter at a time or a few cents per share on earnings.  When we play an infinite game, success is measured in lifetimes, careers, group accomplishments, and personal growth.  Not a basketball fan?  Consider Hayden Fry, Bill Walsh, Bob Knight (he mentored some guy named Coach K) and a college teammate of mine, Tony Perkins.  Not a sports fan?  Jack Welch, Fred Smith, Steve Jobs, and Abraham Lincoln.

One of my favorite coaches (who leads one of my least favorite teams), Matt Campbell says, “Fall in love with the process and the process will love you back.”

It’s about honoring the important at the expense of the urgent, not the other way around.

Great coaches’ legacies are steeped in the clarity they bring to chaos, the simplicity they bring to perceived complexity, and the freedom to decide they instill in their teams.  Dennis Kuester, one of my truly greatest mentors told us, “If you need me while I am on vacation, I have to ask if I need you when I get back.”  It was his way of reminding us that he paid us to make decisions, and that he trusted us to do so even when he was away for a break.

It’s about “open mic night” at our funeral.

Sorta morbid, right?  Yet great coaches know that it’s going to be standing room only at their funerals and that anyone who speaks will use words like “inspired,” “demanded,” “trusted” and “taught.”  Legacies aren’t what are leftover after we’re gone, they’re what is sprouting all around us while we’re still here, so that it can bear fruit that will feed a next generation of leaders.  It’s about kids of people we led being named after us, maybe even after we’re gone.

It’s about being a multiplier and a connector.

Legacies often have their roots in an introduction the leader makes on behalf of one of his team to someone who multiplies the gifts of their new connection.  It’s about taking the blame when the team loses and passing along the credit when the team wins.  It’s about Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer sitting with golfers 60 years their junior and simply answering their questions.

“If you see what is right and fail to act on it, you lack courage.”

–     Attributed to Confucius, paraphrased often enough that I’m not sure which is the original verbiage

Courage is kind of a grandiose word in today’s culture.  Athletes are applauded for their courage, even though they’re essentially playing a game for a bazillion dollars.  Reality show characters are called courageous when the stakes are not only not very high, but they’re absurdly unlikely in a “normal” life, whatever the heck normal is supposed to be…

The concept is further confused by this idea of “right and wrong.”  That’s a line that not very many of us will face too often in a career.  Conceptually, though, in dealing with Clients, teammates, etc — we probably have a. few opportunities each month to “do the right thing.”

It takes courage to do it — especially in a world that rewards shortcuts and essentially looks the other way on cheaters (yes, I’m talking about you, Houston Astros!).

See what is right and act on it.  Difference-making stuff, indeed.

Chime in.  Have you faced the decision?  Do you see one coming up?  Let us know how you’ve handled it or will handle it — the whole team gets better when we learn from one another.

Make it a great day!

“You can’t help but draw a larger message about Arnie (Arnold Palmer) and Fred (Fred Rogers) in the turbulent times we live in.  Two men from the same place, different as could be, found a common answer to today’s problems in the way they consistently treated people with kindness.”

–     Jerry Tarde, Editor-in-Chief, Golf Digest in his February “Last Shot” column on The King and our favorite “neighbor”

If we’re in the business of selling — and since we’re in business, we are — there is an extraordinary lesson to be learned from the way Fred Rogers and Arnold Palmer carried themselves, but it’s not just about their manner.  It’s about their way.

“Ok, Heston, you’re doing it again,” you’re saying.  “Don’t pick nits.  Don’t slice and dice the English language.”

I’m not.  Our manner is how we act.  Our way is who we are.  Simply by the way they lived, Arnie and Fred built enduring relationship equity with two or three generations, the huge majority of whom they never met in person.

I was fortunate to have “met” Arnold once, at one of his signature golf courses.  He greeted our group as he was walking to his car, going out of his way to shake our hands, look us in the eye, thank us and tell us “he hoped we liked the course.”  I was lucky that our ol’ aluminum antennae on the farm could get Iowa Public TV, so that as a kid, I rarely missed Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.

By the way.  They were both tough, fair-minded men.  Neither of them ever ducked a question.  Arnold replied to every letter he received, even the small percentage that was critical or otherwise not just “fan mail.” Until he was too ill to go to his Bay Hill Club, Arnold was there every day, quick to remind everyone who entered that he was “glad to see them,” and to “kindly remove your hat,” if they forgot.

Fred wasn’t a glad-hander or platitude plasterer — he spoke the truth, kindly, even when he disagreed.  His testimony defending public TV before Congress in 1969 has gone viral multiple times in the 41 years since.  He spoke the truth, firmly and kindly.

As a professional sales leader, I’ve long appreciated Lencioni’s concept of telling “the kind truth.”

There’s no better way to build relationship equity within your “army” and to hit the pillow every night knowing you made a difference in your neighborhood.

(Editor’s Note:  “Maxwell Friday” returns, either next week or, perhaps with a bonus edition of the DD this weekend…)

“He who chases two rabbits catches none.”

          –     Attributed to Confucius

In an age where everyone seems to think they can multi-task, turns out everyone is wrong.

It’s physically impossible to be conducting conflicting activities at the same time, without great risk.

Texting and driving?  Catastrophic consequences.

Listening and talking?  Polar opposites.  Impossible.

Working while on vacation?  You’re either doing one or the other.

The benefit of closing the laptop, turning off the phone and focusing on that one thing that’s most important right now is immeasurable.

The advantage of being laser focused on whatever your client or prospect is saying right now is unconquerable.

The legacy of always being here, now will mean that others knew you were a difference maker.

“If you can’t influence people, then they will not follow you.  And if people won’t follow, you are not a leader.  That’s the Law of Influence.”

–     John C. Maxwell, in his book “The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership”

In our second Maxwell Friday, he comes out strong enough that it probably could have been a really short book.  (Actually, it couldn’t.  The next 19 are all genius, too!)

A couple of my mentors said it differently, but just barely:  “Think you’re a leader?  Turn around.  If no one’s there, you’re not a leader.”

Strong leadership shows itself in good times and bad.  In good times, new ideas are flowing, all energy is focused on pulling the same direction and everyone holds everyone else accountable to a standard of “better” every day.  In bad times, strong leaders are vulnerable and transparent, inviting input from those closest to the action, as well as those who disagree with the boss.  In bad times, strong leaders openly discuss strategies and risks.  In each case, followers will be plenty.

Then there’s the flip side.  Without strong leadership, there aren’t really good times.  And in bad times, lack of leadership is easy to spot.  Closed doors, keeping newcomers at arms length, discouraging (either in word or deed) candor and criticism, honoring structure over strategy and otherwise assuring that no one lines up behind us — well, back to Maxwell’s point.  If people won’t follow you…

In case you didn’t click the link above, I’ll give it to you straight again; The Law of Leadership — “Leadership is influence.  Nothing more, nothing less.”

Editor’s Note:  Buy the book.  It’ll change your life and career.  Just sayin’…