“I had the right to remain silent.  I just didn’t have the ability.”

–     Blue Collar comedian, Ron White

Silence is our friend.

If we have contemplating to do.  Deciding.  Writing.  Dreaming.  Meditating.  Praying.

Silence is also our friend if we have negotiating to do.

Too much of our time — in business and beyond, is spent filling the space up with words.  Silence can be a spectacular tool.  It can be a formidable weapon.  It can be a game changer.  Silence can be a difference maker.

If we have the ability.

“…much of what we consider valuable in our world arises out of these kinds of lopsided conflicts, because the act of facing overwhelming odds produces greatness and beauty.”

–     Malcolm Gladwell, from very early in his new book “David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and The Art of Battling Giants”

OK, OK, so I’m a junky when it comes to Gladwells’ stuff.

And, if you gotta be addicted to something — it might as well be a smart guy who challenges and teaches everyone to get better.

Granted, I may be biased.  My firm, Bancvue, Ltd, deploys on behalf of community banks and credit unions to battle the mega banks.  It works.  (Click Kasasa to get your shot at lots o’ interest and a much improved relationship with your financial services partner…but I digress.)

The think that draws me to this quote — which is literally in the first three pages, or thereabouts, are the words “greatness and beauty.”

JP Moran Chase may be a few billion in “ooops, sorry!” fines.  A few others may get their picture on the cover of the Wall Steet Journal for some “thing” they did or said.

Our customers — well they carry a sling, and we put the stones in those slings (literally and metaphorically), and it creates greatness and beauty.  It flat makes a difference, and that, I guarantee.

“If each of you makes every effort to develop to the best of your ability, follow the proper rules of conduct…subordinate individual acclaim for the welfare of the team…it will be a very rewarding year.”

–     Letter from John Wooden to his team, July 23, 1971, as quoted in “The Essential Wooden” by Steve Jamison

Ten national championships.  Seven of those in a row.

He recruited the best talent, but that’s not why he won.  He won because of what he got them to do together.

John Wooden, the legendary UCLA basketball coach was known as “The Wizard of Westwood,” and he earned the accomplishments and the accolades with a simple, unbending and non-negotiable system for success.

He not only won games and titles, he won the hearts and souls of the young men he coached.  He helped them develop to the best of their ability.  He enforced the proper rules of conduct, and he coached individual talent toward team outcomes.

John Wooden was a difference maker.

“What makes things memorable is that they are meaningful, significant, colorful.”

–     Joshua Foer, author of “Moonwalking With Einstein”

What follows may seem like a blatant restaurant recommendation — and it is.

It’s also much more than that.

Saturday evening, our guests and we settled in for our 7:45 reservation at Searsucker.  After a long afternoon in the sun at Austin City Limits Music Festival and perhaps too many appetizers at the original Chuy’s, it occurred to us that we weren’t really all that hungry, and that maybe we’d just take in some of Austin’s exceptional night life on a beautiful autumn evening downtown.

Enter Richard.

“I got this,” he said.  “Give me those menus, relax and enjoy your drinks.”

“Look, we’re really not hungry, and besides, one of us is vegetarian,” we insisted, and repeated that perhaps we’d just move along — and maybe come back later.

Richard was having none of it.

About 45 minutes, five small plates and one dessert later, we were hooked.

The food was really, really good, but even if it had been average, Richard made the experience memorable.

Equal parts culinary expert, sommelier and comedian — he read the table, and each of us at the table, and made the experience worth remembering.  And, he assured that we will, soon, in fact, return to his restaurant.

In our workaday lives, do we often enough take time to consider whether the experience our customers and constituents get from interacting with us is memorable — worth remembering?

I wonder if more of us approached our gigs the way Richard approaches his, whether that might make a bigger difference.

BLATANT RESTAURANT PLUG:  If you’re in Austin, San Diego, Del Mar or Scottsdale, check out Searsucker.  If you happen to check out the one in Austin, ask for Richard, and tell him I sent you.  I bet he’ll remember — because the memorable experiences are memorable for everyone involved.

“What’s the best concert you’ve ever seen?”

–     My buddy, Tom Gelin, last night at Austin City Limits Music Festival

It’s also one of my favorite “conversation starters,” when out with clients or in a setting where the same ol’ topics are no longer useful.

I love the thought — and the realization that the setting, timing, life circumstances and any number of other factors can alter my answer to the question, depending on how and when it’s asked.

Earth, Wind & Fire is the easy answer if I think about the best musical performance.

BTO, Heart and Trooper was the first live performance I ever saw.

The Rainmakers moved me with the sheer energy of their performance and the originality of the songs and style.

Recently, Mrs. H and I took in the Eagles, and the nostalgia (not to mention the quality) of their performance will stay with me for a long, long time.

There are a couple dozen others worth recalling.

Artists whose performances impacted, altered, or improved my life.

Do our performances — in business, in life, in the various roles we’re called upon to play, and the various stages upon which we stand — impact, alter or improve –a.k.a. make a difference for the folks who come to see us play?

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

–     Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Be whoever you are!”

–     Lyric from the song of the same title, by Fred LeBlanc

An important message from a world renowned poet and a world class lyricist.  (Check out a Cowboy Mouth concert someday.  You’ll be glad you did.)

Fact is, the world — and many of the people in our inner circle within that world — are trying to change us, or get us to change ourselves.  There are behaviors we might want to change, reactions and habits, but who we are is good enough — every danged time.  Our self is just that — our self.

It’s exhausting to have a “work person” and a “home personna.”  And it’s phony.  If you feel a strong need to be someone different at work than you are when you’re alone or at home with family and friends, there’s a deeper, bigger challenge in play.  Wrong job?  Wrong company?  Something is, by definition, wrong.

They key is to know who we are, and to just be that person.  We can apply the person we are to different scenarios, but the consistency that comes from knowing, and trusting who we are is powerful.  Empowering.  Enlightening.  Energizing.

As Fred sings with the band in another of their great songs, “When the world keeps coming down on me, I let it go!”  “It,” is at the core of who we are.  Let “it” go!  Be whoever you are.

It’ll make a difference.

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

     –     Aristotle

And, education need not come from the classroom.

The key to broadening our outlook is to look beyond its current limits.  It worked for Columbus, and it works for us today.

The four-minute-mile, a cure for polio, a man on the moon.  Were it not for critical thinking –entertaining a thought without accepting it — we’d still be slow, sick and earth-bound.

Someone, in each case and the thousands of others like them, had to entertain the thought that “it can’t be done,” as a means of determining how to do it.

Roger Bannister, Jonas Salk and JFK don’t have a corner on the market of original thought, but they are great examples of the validity of Aristotle’s position.

We learn from the status quo.  We learn from what comes before now.  What we do next, however, will be based on our unwillingness to accept conventional wisdom — to challenge the status quo or the “reality as we know it,” to create a difference making next level for “the bar.”

That’s the kind of education that makes a difference.

“Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand!”

     –     Homer Simpson

Your priorities might not be mine.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t care.

Homer’s one of my favorite philosophers.  Perhaps not as deep and compelling at that other Homer, or Socrates or Plato, he at least seems to put a nice ribbon around some fairly complex matters.  And, often, “Doh!” is as compelling a reply as anything else we could dream up.

When it comes to fairly complex matters, though, “Doh!” tends to fall short.  Faced with complexity, prioritization and choosing are key.  That means that even when we face a difficult conflict, no matter how much we understand the situation, we have to choose to channel our energy, our effort and yes, perhaps, even our caring in a more productive way.

Misplaced caring leads to guilt, which is a 100% crippler.

Prioritization sometimes requires difficult choices.  Difference makers choose.

“Take my assets, but leave my organization and in five years I’ll have it all back.”

     –     Alfred P. Sloan (1875-1966), former CEO of General Motors 

Sometimes, you’re not sure.

That’s a pretty good time to stay the course.

Staying the course is a pretty good plan if you believe your strategy has good under pinnings — good “bones” as they say in the remodeling trade.  And, if you believe you have the right people in the right place, then there’s muscle on those bones.

When a difference maker surrounds her or himself with people dedicated to making a difference, too, and when those people are placed in a structure — an organization that makes success the most likely outcome — well, that’s the kind of synergy that not even Dilbert could make fun of.

Solid talent in a structure that maximizes same.  Clear standards.  Tough love.  Repeat that with emphasis:  Tough love.  Clear expectations and a commitment to support them relentlessly.

If it’s the right team — you’ll want to hold on to them.  And you should.

“I am so old I remember Preparation A.”

     –     Jack McKeon, MLB manager, quoted in 2003, when he was “only” 73

And, so, another trip around the sun begins.  My 53rd.

What does it mean?  Well, there are now another year’s worth of mistakes that hopefully won’t be repeated.  Twelve more months of lessons learned and scar tissue established.  A few more balky joints and sore muscles, and a few fewer follicles — a few MORE of them gray.

Every April and October, I embark on a month of purposeful reflection — an intentional dive deep in to the strategies and tactics, the plan and the progress, the status and the satisfaction therewith.

It’s coincidental that it comes on the heels of my birthday and my half-birthday (the concept of which never hit me until the Youngest of The Three pointed out that it’s her only chance to take birthday treats to school, due to her summer birth…).  It’s more about a forced process of understanding, or at the very least, seeking to understand.

What makes me tick?  What makes me happy?  What makes me energized?  What saps my energy?  Why do I gravitate to some things and avoid others?  And, if the answers or reasons for the answers vary a bit from six months prior — what’s changed — how are the filters different, if at all?

I learn what makes a difference for me, and what makes me make a difference.

Try it.  I think you’ll like it.