“Be thankful for what you have; You’ll end up having more.  If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you’ll never have enough.”

–     Oprah Winfrey

You have no idea how hard it is for me to quote Oprah Flippin’ Winfrey.

Not.  A.  Fan.

At. All.

But, on this topic, I couldn’t find better words from a “known” source.

Negative people are never happy.  No matter the weather.  No matter their station in life.  No matter how much they get.  No matter how much they earn.  No matter what happens.  The glass is not only not half full, but it’s cracked, and the water is murky.

Thankful people, though, by definition, are happy.  They end up having more.

It’s not effect and cause.  It’s cause and effect.

Happiness begets happiness.  Thankfulness begets thanks.  Appreciation begets trust.

Positivity makes a difference.

“Maybe life is random, but I doubt it.”

–     Steven Tyler

How deep can I go if the lead singer of Aerosmith is my quote source….?

Well, he’s right.

If you think life is random, well, “dream on!”  You must have “toys in the attic…”

(I crack me up…)

Regardless of your stance on Faith — arguing for random is a loser’s bet.

So, instead of trying to lament why we’re here, now, let’s just be here, now, and try to make a difference.

Here.

Now.

“You can’t leave a footprint that lasts if you’re always walking on tiptoe.”

     –        Marion C. Blakey, NTSB Chairwoman

“I know I shouldn’t say anything, but…”

     –        Pat Heston, July 2, 1936 – November 13, 2006

Mom was her father’s daughter, and, as much as I write about Dad, I am my mother’s son.  Not much “walking on tiptoes” is possible if you have my gene pool.  My relationship with Mom was much different that the one I had with Dad, but who I am today is as much because of her as it his him.  I don’t deal well with accepting the status quo, and I sometimes can’t help but use more candor than a situation might technically call for.

If I had $5 for every time Mom started a proclamation with the quote above, I’d be retired.  In retrospect, she was right more often than she was wrong, and the fact that I sleep pretty good at night comes largely to the clarity around right and wrong that she gave me, if not from the tendency to speak out on the difference.

Today, I’d ask two things, in memory of Pat Heston.

First, leave a “footprint.”  Maybe on a co-worker or a customer.  Maybe on a kid.  Maybe on a relative.  But leave a mark.  Stand for something.  Put yourself out there.  It’s a time in our history where the really good people need to make a difference, and it would make Mom pretty happy if she knew we took some action in her name today.

Second, call your Mom, if you can, and tell her you love her and appreciate her.  And mean it.  It’s a call I’d love to be able to make.

Thanks, Pat Heston, for the difference you made.

“I blame myself…”

–     One of many great quotes from Michael “Squints” Palledorous, from the truly great movie, “Sandlot”

Blame is a dangerous game.  No one wins.  Ever.

But, if we gotta blame someone, maybe we oughta start with ourselves.

Too easy to be a victim today.  Too easy to point the finger outward, rather than inward.  Dangerous mistakes, both of those…

I’ve been on the road too much.  I haven’t been as focused as I want to be — on anything.  There are about 5 times more items on my to-do list than I can “to-do.”

I blame myself.

‘Cause it’s no one else’s fault.

If we’re going to try to make a difference, we gotta take care of the source first — and it’s usually us.

“Freedom is never free.”

–     Unattributed but often quoted

Last night, boarding my flight from Chicago to Austin, as the airline made its standard offer for uniformed military to board, along with the first class cabin customers, I overhead a little boy say, “Dad, why do they get to go first.”

I wanted to hug the kid’s father, who replied, “Son, without them, we wouldn’t get to go at all.”

So that we might live free, they put themselves in harm’s way.

So that we might live the American dream, they protect it.

So that we might never really know the price, they are willing to pay it.

Thank you, Veterans, for making the ultimate difference.

“All generalizations are dangerous; even this one!”

–        Alexander Dumas

“You always…”

“We never…”

“Every time…”

The dichotomy in Dumas’ statement here is kinda cool.  Yes, generalizations are dangerous.  Words like “all,” “always,” and “never” can paint us in to a corner pretty quickly, and, at the risk of generalizing, no one ever likes to be painted in to a corner, right?

But when he says, “even this one,” it makes ya think…  What are the generalizations that are scary because they might have a ring of truth in them?

Are the “always” and “nevers” in our lives tending toward the positive (I always prepare for meetings/conversations/projects), or the self-defeating (I never seem to have enough time in the day)?

Danger isn’t, in and of itself, a bad thing.  Today, though, let’s pay some attention to the generalizations we use….avoiding them if possible, but being aware of the direction they set for us when they creep in to being…

I bet it makes a difference.

“Give a man a free house and he’ll bust out the windows,  Put his family on food stamps, now he’s a big spender; no food on the table and the bills ain’t paid, ’cause he’s spending it on cigarettes and PGA.  They’ll turn us all into beggars ’cause they’re easier to please, they’re feeding our people that Government Cheese…”

–     Lyric from Bob Walkenhorst and The Rainmakers “Government Cheese”

I first saw Bob and the band in 1981 in Kirksville, MO.  The guy’s a really unique musical talent and a gifted lyricist.  (The live show from Norway (click the link) is the same set I first saw them play — and I still can tell you where I was standing in the bar — but then live music is sort of an O / C thing for me…but I digress…)

Now, where was I?  Oh, yeah.  Gub’ment cheese…

But this post is not a political statement.

It’s about entitlement mentality in general.

The world really doesn’t owe me anything.  You either.

In David and Goliath, Gladwell shows the effect of wealth and the easy street manner in which some of us raise our kids — and it ain’t a positive effect.  So, it’s not just the government.  We have to be careful to avoid the traps, too.

No, the world doesn’t owe me anything.  You either.

Choices, decisions, crossroads and accountability.  The world (and the Creator thereof) provides us ample opportunity to choose, decide, pick a path and own the outcome.

Society today, though, wants us to believe it’s not our fault when we choose poorly, decide incorrectly, pick the wrong path or try to pass the buck.

(Insert game-show-wrong-answer-buzzer-sound-effect here.)  In fact, here’s the one from Family Feud.

Difference makers know that entitlements aren’t real.  That they don’t count.  That they don’t make a difference.

Difference makers know that choices, decisions, crossroads and accountability do.

“The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want now.”

–     Zig Ziglar

Urgent vs. important.

Tree vs. forest.

A list of “to-do’s” or a small set of “must do’s.”

These are the intersections through which fulfillment is navigated and attained.

Difference makers find a way to choose the correct turns – the paths that honor their priorities.

“Don’t you bug out on me, Maverick.  Get you’re a** in here!”

–     Iceman (Val Kilmer), in the movie “Top Gun”

Engaging, or re-engaging to help teammates, or even other teams who need it, is a great way to make a difference.  Considered in the broader context, however, I’d suggest that the team that doesn’t raise its hand to ask for help is just as guilty as the person who doesn’t offer it.

Pride is a dangerous thing.  It’s easy to “not want to be a burden.”  It’s easy to think that if you can’t get through a challenge on your own that it somehow makes you less valuable in the eyes of others.  All of that is just plain silly.  Here’s the deal:  If you need help, ask for it.  Ask loudly.  Ask forcefully.  Ask specifically.  Ask repeatedly.  But, doggonit (as Dad might have said), ask!

In the movie, Maverick knew he could help.  He knew he should help.  One could argue, however, that if Iceman hadn’t asked (loudly, forcefully, specifically and repeatedly “Engage, Maverick, engage!”) that it would have been pretty easy for Maverick to “bug out.”

Don’t be too proud to ask for help.  And don’t be too busy to offer it.  Within the team.  Across the teams.  Across all of your field of influence.  That’s the “team” part, and it’s the key element to bringing about permanent, broad-sweeping and transformational change.  It’s one of the keys to making a difference.

“The secret compartment of my ring I fill, with an Underdog super-energy pill.”

–     Underdog, aka “Shoeshine Boy” in the popular 60’s-70’s animated TV Show

What Gladwell shows us in David and Goliath is that it’s not the “super energy pill” that makes the underdog a favorite.

Rather the key lies in understanding disadvantages, leveraging them to win against whatever “giant” we face.

Genetic, environmental, experience, affluence or poverty — whatever hand we’re dealt, goes in to our DNA, and provides a unique and telling backdrop for what we can accomplish.  If we understand.