On First Meeting

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When I meet you, there are six of us.  There is the one I think I am and the one I think you are.  There is the one you think I am and the one you think you are. And, there is the one I really am and the one you really are.”

          –    Unattributed….I think it was Dr. Graf…so we’ll give him credit…

On Monday, I’m meeting some folks for the first time.  I bet we’ll all make some assumptions about who we’re going to meet and who we’re meeting when we do meet.  Doh!  Assumptions rarely lead to our best moments, do they?  For over 30 years now, I’ve noticed that the closer I keep this picture of “the six of us” in mind, the better the results from first meetings, and the relationships that subsequently evolve.

Oh, I’ve seen this before…

It’s easy to make the assumption that “we’ve seen this before.”  And sometimes, we have.  The person who _____________ must be like that other person that said that, after all.  Except, no.  On the other hand, I’ve seen The Blues Brothers before.  More than 100 times.  So, I really do know when Carrie Fisher is gonna try — again — to kill Jake and Elwood.  No matter how many first, introductory meetings we’ve had, though, we haven’t seen this one before.  Honor it by being completely in it.

You’re exactly like…

Nope. Sorry, you’re not.  You’re not even exactly like you were yesterday.  And I’m not either.  Heck, multiple times on Monday — and most days — we’ll flex between the one we think we are, the one you think we are and the one we really are.

Ok, so what’s the point?

Let’s be aware of all six people in the first meeting between us.  And let’s deploy every tactic and thought process we can to be the one we really are as often as possible.  We won’t get it perfect.  We won’t always be aware when we’re getting it wrong, but it’s worth pursuing.  More importantly, when I just look at and listen to you, with the belief that I want to get to know you as you really are, isn’t that about the best way I can make a difference for you, and, for that matter, for me, too?

Monday, I’m meeting some folks for the first time.  I can’t wait to get to know them, hopefully, for who they really are.

 

 


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